Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:43pm
Ours either. We each have a car and it's our choice completely which one we choose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:43pm
Wish I could get DH to ask first! LOL. I do the bills and take care of the accounts. But DH has a ATM/Check card. He likes to use it. He sees the balance on the receipt and doesn't even consider that I might have checks out on it. I've tried to "take away" the card so we don't bounce stuff, but then we get back into that "I work too hard to not spend money the way I want" argument.

I can certainly understand why they say money issues cause divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:46pm
"He wouldn't be able to work a job with killer hours if you had an equally demanding job. Something has to give." Well since my job was teaching, I could've still had my career and he could've kept his schedule. We would've had to hire a nanny for childcare.


"Why wouldn't he have altered his work/career plans to suit your career dreams and the kids' needs?" My career dream was to be a teacher, which I was for ten years....my goal was then to be home with my children when we had them. I am. I also wanted the option of returning to work if need be when the children were in school. I do. We have managed to meet our goals in life by working together.

"Why does he just get to have his pick of job and career, and you'll mould your career, time, etc. around what he does. No career or job is set in stone like that. " He picked his career much like I "picked" mine. It's what we wanted to do. If I still wanted to teach after having children I could've continued...but that would've meant using a nanny etc and I wasn't comfortable with that. Also my career affords me the luxury of taking time off....his doesn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:47pm
You know he's a Libra if he picks up the red ball...then the blue one..no wait, he wants the red one..no, that blue one is nicer, or is the red?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:48pm
That's my son! Except he IS perfect, just ask him, he'll tell you;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:49pm
But DH COULDN'T have the luxury of just busting his butt if he were married to an equally driven career woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you had a career working 80 hours a week at IBM, he'd just have to accomodate YOU!!!!! Or let a host of family and household servants take care of everything, including your kids. Just because the women are predominantly SAHM in your area is inapposite to my point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:50pm
But what I am trying to say is that often there are OTHER things going on in peoples lives-quite often. And sometimes we dont get to *choose*, its just LIFE happening. There seems to be a stereotype being perpetuated of Donna Reed in her heels and dress with the freshly baked cookies, when in this day and age I'd say MOST sahms have a lot more stuff going on than your *average* household affairs.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:51pm
What if your career didn't afford you the luxury of taking time off?

What if your career goal wasn't something convenient/conducive to family life like teaching?

Who would "win" then? Isn't it possible he could be convinced to scale back his aspirations to accomodate your aspirations? Or is he just not attracted to the high powered mega hours career woman in general?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:53pm
So what happens when life happens to dual working households?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:53pm
Number one reason, even more than infidelity.

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