Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 2:07pm
Filling your days with play groups, lessons, activities, sporting games, and the necessary items in order to run the house is as wise as filling it any other way if the parent and household say that is the way their family will run and how their house will be taken care.

Cindy, you don't get to decide what is correct time management in anybody's house but your own. You do know that don't you?

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 2:10pm
No, it's because it doesn't take a whole lot of effort. I've known women who cleaned 2 or 3 houses a day to make a living with their kids in tow. It's just not that much effort under normal circumstances. What do you think changed from the 1950's on to make it so much easier for moms to work? Housework became less work with the invention of modern conveniences. Todays' full time WM who does all the housework is doing less than my grandmother did. From where I sit, women who spend 8-10 hours a day working to keep the house clean are far and few between but men who work 8-10 hours a day to support their wives are pretty common.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 3:11pm
Weekly Schedule For Cleaning

4000 SQ FT home

Vac 2-3X all carpeting (including moving out furniture away from walls so it can be cleaned underneath)

Scrub (on hands and knees) tile (long hall way, 4 bathrooms, l laundry room)

Change sheets 2x wkly, 3 bedrooms

Special care (hands and knees action) for hardwood floors (huge kitchen, dining rm, entrance foyer)

Move, clean thoroughly countertops huge kitchen counter area 2x weekly

Clean oven, microwave, convection ovens (wiping out, special cleansers as required)

Dust 2x wk

Stand up and dust above windows (above window treatments), any high areas, lighting fixtures

Clean window seals, all baseboards, entire house

Clean windows, glass doors (interior and exterior)

Clean interior doors

Scrub (on hands and knees, heavy duty task) all 4 bathrooms, including whirlpool tubs, showers 2x weekly

Cook from scratch meal (not excluding breads, desserts) every day

7-8 loads laundry per week

Clean, scrub laundry room and remember the garage needs weekly attention to declutter, be swept, etc

Grocery shopping - 2x wk

Care for flower beds, mowing that takes 1 1/2 hrs per wk

Plus 2 children, tball, swim, library story time, taking them to the park, etc.

This is a bit of effort but accomplished weekly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:01pm
OMG -- that is my SIL! They have a large home (5 bedrooms, 4 baths, very large kitchen with cabinets/countertops galore (I just want her kitchen for me lol), this huge great room plus another den, a laundry room any woman would find luxurious, and my goodness the master bedroom and bath I could live in) and she cleans, cleans, cleans like this EVERY week, without missing a beat. You could do the "white glove test" on anything no matter how high up or how low down and her house is immaculate. You can't find anything out of its place, no matter how hard you tried. My brother and she are very particular about their home as my husband and I are about ours.

Then you've got my MIL who even though it is just her and my FIL she still cleans, scrubs like this every day plus the woman cans, freezes foods and cooks delicious meals every day and every night and well, I just drool over thinking what kind of desserts she put together this week alone (it is like a bakery!)

My mother and grandmother have always been this way also. Clean, clean, clean. My husband and I get it honest from our childhood and background.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:06pm
How is dad going to the office and sitting behind a desk for 8 hrs, with a 1 hr lunch break at a restaurant where he doesnt have to cut up anyone elses meat as *doing so much more*? Again- YOU ARE TOTALLY IMMERSED IN THE FINANCIAL SIDE HERE.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:08pm
So the sahp does NOTHING to help support the family? Keeping up the house, the yard, caring for the children, taking care of and managing finances, running errands, basic household maintenance, all of that takes NO effort?

Duh yourself, you make no sense. It IS all about the money to you Cyndi.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:12pm
Considering you have never done it, thats a pretty easy statement for you to make. And I do much more than just *fill my time*. Maybe there isnt that much work to do in YOUR home. Maybe you dont care how your house looks or your lawn. Maybe you dont have an extensive vegetable and flower garden, 5 animals, 2 kids, 3 cars and a motorhome to upkeep, maybe you dont do any basic household maintenance. Maybe you dont take care of all the financial concerns, investments, bill paying, etc. Or maybe you just have different standards.

Why would you assume that I am not using my time wisely and need to take a time management class? Thats pretty silly.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:13pm
"Duh yourself, you make no sense. It IS all about the money to you Cyndi."

I just couldn't live that way, that everything is about money, money, money, money and more money. I don't want to be equal if it is a money issue. Blech!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:17pm
Oh yes, and playing golf with clients for the afternoon. And going to his fav restaurants 5 days a week for lunch. Then there is the REDS game, Keeneland (Ky area here) horse meet for the day, local LEGENDS game, and oh, the big UKy games that he takes clients to or other business associates take him to get his business.

That is so much to have to put up with on a weekly (yes, Cindy, weekly) basis. It is part of his job committment, a requirement of his position as VP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:23pm
This is what I think also.

"And I do much more than just *fill my time*."

Ditto for me as well!

"Maybe there isnt that much work to do in YOUR home. Maybe you dont care how your house looks or your lawn."

This is what Im getting from what she is saying (and her previous posts on how she cleans which would never get by me or my husband in our home, we are just too particular about cleanliness and appearances of our home). The lawn has to be perfectly manicured no matter what it takes the standards are high for that here.

"Maybe you dont have an extensive vegetable and flower garden, 5 animals, 2 kids, 3 cars and a motorhome to upkeep, maybe you dont do any basic household maintenance."

Ditto. We have flower gardens (my husband loves flowers, hanging baskets, anything like that to spruce up the lawn and landscape). We have a car, truck and the company suv we are responsible for, 2 kids, and a dog. Household maintenance, oh my, we are always doing something whether it is replacing/repairing or cosmeticly. Never ending job in this home.

"Maybe you dont take care of all the financial concerns, investments, bill paying, etc. Or maybe you just have different standards."

Ditto. I do the majority of these. Plus I physically take the bills (not all, some of them) so that ends up in my errand running schedule.

"Why would you assume that I am not using my time wisely and need to take a time management class? Thats pretty silly."

Silly for myself, silly for you, silly for many others in the real world, indeed silly!



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