Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:45pm
Sorry, don't cut it. How many of us are cleaning 4000 sq ft homes on a daily basis. This debate is about what is normal not the extremes. Yes there are some women out there who put in as much effort as their dh's in spite of SAH but they are rare.


Edited 6/14/2003 4:49:46 PM ET by cyndiluwho
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:48pm
Nope. Dad sitting behind a desk is performing mental work. He's not sitting there watching Oprah!! I sit behind a desk most of the day. Much of my time is spent keeping my skills current when I'm not brainstorming problem solutions for customers or writing reports. One doesn't have to be lofting pile to be working, though physical work can be more taxing. It's about effort. A SAHM doing 3 hours of housework a day just doesn't compare to someone working 8 hours a day to support a family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:53pm
Okay so 3 hrs of housework, 1 hour of yardwork, 10 hrs of childcare, 1 hour of financial management (bill paying, balancing books, etc), 1 hour of errand running......

You're right! That doesnt equal 8 hours behind a desk!!

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:54pm
Nope, it's about the effort put in. Clipping coupons and working for a living are two different things. Yes, a SAHP does contribute to the financial well being of the household but not nearly as much as the wage earner. Don't believe me? Take away the SAHP and see how bad things get then take away the wage earner and see how great things are. I think you'll find that the SAHP is doing little in the way of supporting the household. The fact of the matter is the WP is doing almost all of the work to support the household while the SAHP is dependent on the WP's work. That creates a very unequal situation. What the SAHP contributes is in the way of creature comforts not actual work to support a family.


Edited 6/14/2003 4:56:07 PM ET by cyndiluwho
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:58pm
Never done what? SAH? Yes I have. I'm well versed in having a cup full of time and a thimble full of work to put in it. It's one of the reasons I choose to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:58pm
VERY true. I know that when I was SAH prior to this school year, I was SWAMPED busy. And never got everything done around the house. And yes, that was with just 2 kids. We won't even discuss how the summer went when I had 6 kids here.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 4:59pm
YOU see this as extreme because you disagree with it. I know IRL many people who both sah and woh who clean exactly like this in a wide variety of square footage ranges. Just because you don't keep these standards doesn't make it uncommon.

Like I stated above, my sil, my mother, mil, grandmother, and another WOH friend w/2 kids and a busy schedule ALL clean like this. This is much how it is also handled in our home as particular as my husband and I are about cleanliness and presentation of our home.

Because you don't have these high standards does not make them few and far btw.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:00pm
Um, what about the child care dh does when he gets home? You seem to be forgetting that. Dad does his child care when he gets home. Yes, mom does more but the combination of what dad does at work and what he does at home likely comes out to way more than mom does. I always find it funny when childcare is work for moms but time off for dads. Childcare is not particularly labor intensive. I have two kids so I have an idea of the effort it takes. You may be on call more hours but what is the actual effort you expend?? Taking the kids to the park and reading a book on the park bench just isn't work.




Edited 6/14/2003 5:02:39 PM ET by cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:00pm
So how can you say it isnt about the financial aspect then? You are still talking money here. Thats the bottom line for you isnt it? No matter how much effort the sahp puts in, in your eyes they are eternally unequal because they arent bringing in the $$. Why keep trying to spin that? Its okay to say it if thats how you feel, whats annoying is your insistance that it ISNT about the $$, when for you it IS.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:01pm
But again we are talking about you, not everyone.

"Much of my time is spent keeping my skills current when I'm not brainstorming problem solutions for customers or writing reports."

My husband's job is far more stressful and not near that cushy.

"A SAHM doing 3 hours of housework a day just doesn't compare to someone working 8 hours a day to support a family."

And many SAHs are doing far more than 3hrs per day Cindy. Get real.


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