Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:05pm
"Clipping coupons and working for a living are two different things."

Yes they are Cindy. But my $500+ savings that I calculate monthly thus far in 2003 is a reward for my husband and I and is a financial savings.

"Yes, a SAHP does contribute to the financial well being of the household but not nearly as much as the wage earner. Don't believe me?"

True. I'd be bringing home about $200, maybe $250 a MONTH if I worked, so ITA w/you there. And my staying home and saving the money we would be spending (clothes for me to work, childcare, lunches out daily) is a savings. Now as far as coupons and watching sale prices to match, it goes w/out being said in this house, that would be done whether I woh or sah. It is more about frugal personality than financial requirement.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:06pm
Nope, as I've said before if it was, dh would need a second job because I out earn him by a mile. It's about contribution and effort. I've been a SAHM, I've been a PTWM and I've been a FTWM and I can tell you first hand that SAH doesn't compare to a job. Kids don't take undivided attention, they're not labor intensive and you only have a few hours of actual housework to do. Every SAHM I know spends at least part of her day playing with her kids instead of working. Nothing wrong with that as long as you're not expecting someone else to come home and pick up the slack because you didn't get the things done that needed to get done. SAH comes with a lot of free time because there just ins't enough work to fill the time, for most people. Personally, I don't know a single over worked SAHM but lots of their dh's are overworked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:08pm
Well my dh works 10 hr shifts so thats where I came up with that number. But, if you figure a man works 8-5p. He gets up at say, 645am. Mom and kids get up at that time too, but dad is getting ready for work so I wouldnt say he is contributing towards child care at that point. He leaves at 730pm and gets home at 530p. Unwinds for 30 minutes, eats dinner, then plays/takes care of kids for a couple hours. While this is going on, mom is still working too-she made dinner and is cleaning the kitchen. So her *work* day started at 645am and ended at about 7pm. Dads *work* day started at 8am and ended at 5p. Add in his couple hours with the children and you get 10 hrs. Moms day was 12 hrs. Plus there is the fact that dad is at work with HIMSELF. Mom is doing EVERYTHING she needs to do to run the house with kids in tow-which can make for a very mentally draining day.

I'm not saying its HARDER, dont get me wrong, but its certainly not LESS.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:10pm
Your scope of the world is incredibly tiny, lol. So what you are really saying is YOU are making more of an *effort* than your dh??? Right?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:12pm
Do you consider sitting around playing with the children as "work"? My husband walks in the door and we play from 6pm to 11pm. Play Cindy. We cuddle, we play, we watch tv, we go out for a drive or to a movie, go p/u ice cream or raid the freezer for some, we have our dinner together, we read, play on the computer, go outside for bicycling, over a mile walk, etc.

Effort you expend? A great deal! I love every second of it (obviously, I'm expecting a newborn any time) but there is still a great deal!

Reading a book while at the park? BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Now I'll give you one that is easy. Going to the movies, we've been to 3 in 3 wks, THAT is easy mothering!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:13pm
Yes, not harder, but definately not less!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:13pm
But you sah with 2 older children, that werent even yours to begin with. Thats not the same as a sahm with say 3 kids under the age of 5.

If you had a problem filling your time as a sahm, maybe YOU should have taken a time management class.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:15pm
Oh DJ you took the words right off my keyboard!

"If you had a problem filling your time as a sahm, maybe YOU should have taken a time management class"

LMAO!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:18pm
I guess daycare workers or nannies or teachers don't "work" either then.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 5:20pm
No. Dh and I put in pretty much the same effort. At what point did I say otherwise? We both work equivalent jobs, we both take care of our home and we both take care of our kids.

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