Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:20pm
Well gee, I don't know, what do you think, that the wohp should come home from work and scrub the toilets then? Does anyone NOT detest scrubbing toilets??????
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:24pm
How many hours a week do you do these things, lol. Yes, they're work but, unless you're mowing the back 40, and most aren't, you're not doing them all the time. The housework, yard work and maintenance don't add up to 50 hours a week on a regular basis by any means. Now, you can do what my friend with the 4 kids and the immaculate house did and gut and remodel your own kitchen and then sand and refinish your own wood floors and I'd say you contributed at least what your working spouse did while you were doing those things but we're talking a few weeks here not something you do on a regular basis. Though I have to admit that her hard work does increase the family's standard of living in that they were able to buy a fixer upper that she fixed up instaead of paying more for a house.

BTW, if this friend wasn't so darned nice, I'd have to hate her. No way my kitchen would look like hers if I remodeled it myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:24pm
actually we were debating whether or not they were *equal*. I offered up that if a sahp was doing 100 percent of the household care and the wohp 100 percent of the income earning, would they then be equal and you said NO.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:25pm
So why'd you get a full time job to avoid it?
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:26pm
How you choose to fill your day is your business however it doesn't mean you're doing work that contributes to your household.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:28pm
I must be amazing. I do now and alsways have cooked from sratch every night, I bake from scratch AND I clean a 3500 sq ft. house with 3 bathrooms, one of which is 12 X 16 ft. How DO I do it?

I don't hang out laundry though, or move furniture very often. In fact, I think I'm afraid to move it for fear of what I might find!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:30pm
Well I spelled it out as a daily average below, but I'll do it again. Figure 3 hrs a day housework, 1 hr a day yard work, 1 hr a day financial management, 1 hr a day running errands, and 10 hours a day (or so) childcare, 1 hr a day of pet care (I have 5 pets), and then probably another 10 hrs a week of *other* stuff like painting the entire inside of the house, fixing clogged drains, cleaning and vacuuming out the vehicles (4 of them and 1 is like having another little house), and so on.

I still dont get how that comes out as being *unequal* to the working parent. Especially since you have insisted its not about $$.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:40pm
Oh and those 10 hrs a day of childcare overlap with the 6 hrs of the other daily things listed as well as the 10 hrs a week of *other*. Ever tried painting a room with *help* from a 3yo? If that isnt labor intensive I dont know what is.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:47pm
I think Cyndi has a hard time understanding that some families involve a *give and take* that means maybe at one point in time one spouse is *doing more* than the other-be it financial contributions, physical labor, whatever. Yet there are other times when the tables are turned, and the other spouse ends up *doing more*. Part of being in a marriage that is a TRUE partnership IS about give and take, and about the occasional unequal division of work. That doesnt make the RELATIONSHIP unequal.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:52pm
And I'm sure that Cindy has NEVER played computer solitaire, surfed the net, spent 20 minutes chatting to a colleague about the children, walked to the store for a coke, posted on a message board at work, or any one of the myriad of things that most people working ft in an office do.

Wait - she has posted on this board alot. Her husband has not. He must expend more "Effort" to support the household. She is not equal.

It is about the money. It's blatantly obvious.

And I'm sorry, but sitting at a desk in the air conditioning DOES NOT equate to dragging two children in and out of the grocery store, the post office, the drug store, the doctor's office in 102 degree heat.

Pages