Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:13pm
Bullsh*t. No VP plays that much and stays a VP without putting in extra hours and then some. Meanwhile, you are at the pool all day. And what about all that horrible emotional stress he's under? (Didn't you just say that?) Now tell me again whose job is easier?

Which is it, does he work a stressful, emotionally exhausting job, or does he play all day? You can't have it both ways, even though the scenerio changes with your every post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:20pm
Uh, didn't you just say your husband played golf, went to sporting events and ate at his favorite restaurant everyday for his job and that he had a much more leisurely existence than you? Sounds pretty cushy to me, so which one is it, cushy, or emotionally crippling, or does it just depend on which arguement works for that particular post?
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:24pm
And SAHM's don't post on bb's or call a friend or take a break to have a cup of coffee or go for a walk or read a book when the baby naps..... Sorry, still no comparison here. I'd bet dollars to donuts that SAHM's waste more time doing those things than working stiffs.

Whether I stop to chat with a coworker is irrelevent because I work until my work is done. I don't go asking for help because I goofed off during the day. My time is put in, thank you.




Edited 6/14/2003 8:40:04 PM ET by cyndiluwho

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:25pm
You mean you don't go to the pool or park all day like sahmommy? I've done both too (woh and sahm), and believe me when I say IT IS LESS. If you doubt it, go get a job and then come back here and tell me how tough it was to stay home.

Why are you doubting people who've actually been sahm and wohm? Why would we be making this up. Bottom line, MUCH, MUCH easier to stay home. When you've had the benefit of both esperiences, then come back and tell us otherwise.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:29pm
This I gotta hear, 10 hours of hands on child care??? You spend 10 hours a day changing diapers, feeding your kids, helping with homework, in their faces??? I highly doubt it. More likely, you're on call for 10 hours a day and have plenty of time to do other things while you're waiting for the call. You are right about that 6 hours overlapping as the 6 probably occur simultaneously with the 10 for a total of 10!!! Now add the child care your dh does to his day (if it's work for you it's work for him) and how many hours has he put in??

Try again. Every SAHM I know has time for hobbies, reading books, going to the park, gabbing with friends, etc, etc, etc... during the day when their dh is at work. How you come up with 10 hours of hands on child care that prevents you from washing a dish is beyond me (since you're adding the 6 hours to the 10 they MUST be mutually exclusive activities, lol). Nope, not buying what you're selling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:30pm
How dare you even compare these leisurely, fun, EASY, pursuits to actual work. I'll say it again. HOW DARE YOU.

Are you not embarrassed to try to say that going for ice cream or a drive or to a movie is in any way, shape or form as much work as coming home from a full day at work to possibly running an errand, making dinner, cleaning up, doing laundry and if you're very very lucky, spending a few minutes with the kids?

It takes a lot of guts to make the statement you just made, and a lot of wohm would love to here about all that effort you put into going for ice cream.

You've got nerve, I'll give you that.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:31pm
Nope, they're not equal because they're not doing equivalent things because the housework just doesn't compare to a full time job!!! It would, however, be even more unfair if the SAHP expected the WP to do housework in addition to working all day. It's pretty hard to reach equivalency with one spouse working full time and the other one not working.


Edited 6/14/2003 8:37:21 PM ET by cyndiluwho
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:36pm
Huh??? Where'd I say that. I didn't get a full time job to avoid it. In this day and age it is quite feasible to both have a full time job AND do the housework because they've knocked about 60 hours off of what it takes to do housework!!! By my grandmothers calculations, as a FTWM, I'd have more time left over to play than she did IF I did 100% of the housework after I got home from work!! I never said I got a job to avoid housework. You do housework whether you work or not but it takes so little time, it's really not an influencing factor in whether or not you work.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:38pm
Nope, I never said otherwise. It's about how much work you do to support your household. 40 hours a week behind a desk doesn't compare to 40 hours a week on a construction site and 40 hours at home doesn't compare to either of those.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:43pm
No, I said the childcare was overlapped with the 6 hrs of household care. Meaning that those 6 hours of housework/yardwork/errands etc are all done with children in tow.

Yes, that is hands on. I prepare breakfast and lunch for both children, bathe ds, did school for 3 hrs a day with dd (this winter), we read, color, paint, go to the library, ride bikes, etc. Child care isnt just about caring for the physical is it? I'd hope your dc provider was doing some mental stimulation for your children too.

I never said I didnt have time for other things. And if you'd like to actually read my posts, I did clarify that the 6 hrs and the 10 hrs occurred simultaneously.

I'm not selling anything, just trying to point out that *the world as Cyndi sees it* isnt necessarily the REAL world.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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