Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:44pm
Hey, I know of one SAHM who goes to the pool, is out of the house almost all the time, and only has one child, seven years old mind you and in school, and still has the nerve to say that she's sometimes too busy to get all the housework done. Hey, sounds fair to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:47pm
Okay well if you are using that kind of analogy, an office worker and a construction worker making the same salary are not equal because the construction worker works *harder*. Sitting in an office for 8 hrs a day doesnt compare to working hard physical labor.

No, housework *alone* does not equal a fulltime job. Housework, childcare, yardwork, financial and household management, errand running, chauffering kids, YES that can be a fulltime job. Not paying, but still fulltime. If you didnt do a good job of it, thats your own shortcoming.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:49pm
It's a nice deal if you can get it, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:50pm
If you are comparing 40 hrs behind a desk to 40 hrs at a construction site, then you ARE talking about physical effort.

So basically, whoever makes the money and works the hardest physically is *better*? Is that it?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:51pm
Nope, you just can't come up with the hours to say the SAHP works as hard as the WP. The WP also does child care when he gets home. The one thing he should be doing is getting to know his kids after being gone all day. You have to add that into his total too. If your time at home counts as child care so does your dh's so the only difference is the 10 hours you're home and he's at work and they just don't compare.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:54pm
Dh and I are equal in our contribution to our family. Neither parent is primary over the other one by virtue of spending significantly more time with the kids. Neither parent dependent on the other one. Both are working to support our family in the same ways. It's really not about income. In most cases the SAHP has it easy compared to the WP and I just don't think they should be asking him to come home to housework!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:57pm
LOL, try again. I worked fulltime in a career for 11 years and RETIRED when my ds was born. I sah fulltime for 2 years, and right now I work part time AND go to school part time. Tell me I havent worn all the hats again why dontcha.....

I'm debating Cyndi's assertion that a sahp is unequal to a working parent, that a sahp doesnt contribute equally to the household, that a sahp is somehow *less*.

If it was less for YOU, great. It wasnt for ME. But then I am an extremely busy and organized person who doesnt find it difficult to accomplish a lot in a day....

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:59pm
The child care is the one thing that should be split as evenly as possible because dads are important too. I, strongly, disagree with one parent doing 75% of the child care to the others 25%. That creates a situation where dad is a secondary parent. You can't trade off child care for housework or wage earning like you can housework for wage earning. I won't even debate this because making one parent primary at the expense of the other is just plain old wrong. This should not be an issue because dad should be spending as much time as he can with his kids when he's home to even the playing field. Dads are more than just paychecks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:05pm
Well I assume most of us worked full-time pre-kids. I haven't run into any heiresses yet here.

I also worked part-time. I don't see how anyone can imply that, given 2 parents, same number of kids and 1 full-time job, vs. same family with 2 full-time jobs, that it isn't going to be easier when one person is home. It's mathematically impossible for it not to be easier. There are only x number of hours in a day, and when you remove 8-10 hours of available time each day to get things done, without removing the tasks that need to be done, someone is going to be playing catch up somewhere. Forget how anybody feels, it's just math, and math doesn't lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:29pm
I don't hang out laundry (#1 would be horrible for my allergies & #2 we are not allowed my neighborhood code restrictions anyway). But I do move furniture, I do sweep under beds, and I'm constantly organizing cabinets and drawers.

I love to cook, I love to bake. And I know what your talking back exactly on the size of your house.

I'm anal about the presence of our home and the high standards of cleaning. My husband is also, I said we were a match made in heaven as we think exactly alike. I'm so particular if anything is out of place I'd probably not let anyone in the house until it is in its rightful place. I'm too particular at times, I know.

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