Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:30pm
I guess you didn't read where I said this doesn't happen every day or every week and in fact all the regular daily and weekly chores are accomplished it is the deep cleaning left over. Ok, you missed it apparently, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt your oversight in reading the post where I stated that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:31pm
Yes, my HUSBAND loves it! He would much rather I spend the day at the pool and leave the housework! I'd much rather he golf and leave the housework. Mutual agreement!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:33pm
It is obvious Cindy has issues on these subjects, obvious from her postings!

"Part of being in a marriage that is a TRUE partnership IS about give and take, and about the occasional unequal division of work. That doesnt make the RELATIONSHIP unequal."

Exactly, ITA, that is how our marriage is, a TRUE partnership!

Excellent post and sooooooooo true!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:35pm
You've just met the wife of one. Believe it not, I could care less. It is a FACT with my husband's company where he is an engineer and VP of the company and has been for over 2 years.

I didn't say I go to the pool all day everyday, but yes, we go quite a bit to the pool during the summer months, weather permitting.

He is under stress as w/any high level and management position. But he does love his job. He definately has the stress end of the deal. I don't stress. The work will get done when it gets done but no one is expecting it. His deal is different naturally being on the working end for a boss.

Sorry you can't fathom and understand. Maybe you live in Cindy's world BAWAHAHA

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:37pm
Yes, yes, yes. He doesn't have near as much leisure time as I do, but he does get a good quantity during the week. Parts of his job is cushy, other parts are stressful, stressful part is the engineering and management parts, the cushy parts on entertaining clients and being entertained as a client, it all comes w/the road in his work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:40pm
Can you not read? I don't go to the pool or park all day. Not every day. But we do it alot. I'm sorry you have such a problem with people living the life style we live. It must be hard for you to accept that many don't live as you. I have no reason to get a job. My husband and I have decided together I'd be a housewife for life.

I never once said I was or do doubt people who are sahms (especially being one to two children now myself) or wohm. I have nothing against a woman choosing to work, even if she works just to blow every cent she makes, I say go for it lady, and have a blast while you are at it, enjoy. It is her life, her choice. Why would I care? I don't.

Sure it is easier to be a housewife than a working wife. Never said it wasn't. Again, you are misunderstanding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:43pm
How dare you to actually care how we live our life by choice! Bawaha!

Again, you've misunderstood and misread. Becoming a habit, I'd say for you.

My husband isn't coming home and working. He is coming home for family and play time every night. Maybe once a month an hour of housework. Big deal.

You've got nerve to be so rude and condescending about another's life choices that are none of your business, but you did it anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:50pm
You don't have to be a "heiress" to be a housewife before, after kids. You don't have to even be one if you choose or are not able to have children. Do you really think that only "heiress" or women with children are housewives?

My grandmother was a housewife for many years before ever thinking about motherhood. She was home right from marriage. They had one child and she never worked. Still doesn't. My mother has been a housewife since the day she married until 5 years ago, which was about 8 years after her 2nd and last child left home when he married. I know many housewives. I know housewives who chose or couldn't have children but they never went to work, they still stayed home by choice of them and their husbands.

Is this really odd to you?

In our home my being a housewife is much easier for us and of course naturally for my husband. And now w/children it has gotten even easier for us and naturally my husband. But ease wasn't the only factor or even the top priority factor for my being a housewife and my husband and I making this decision before we even walked down the aisle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:56pm
So does that mean that you believe a SAHM who does not ask her husband for help is (by your definition) equal?

You stated that it was all in the "effort" that a person expends. That it was not monetary support but the effort that one put into supporting the household.

I'm just curious - is *any* working for pay job inherently superior to the SAHM? If the DH is a security guard for instance who sits on a chair and watches a monitor all night, and the wife is a SAHM who does everything else? Is the DH supporting his wife (other than "monetarily" because you said it wasn't about the money)?

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:00pm
LOL. Yeah right. Have you read my posts. My own marriage is a series of gives and takes. Give and take is not the issue. Trying to pass SAH off as equivalent to being a WP is. IMO, SAH is an example of give and take. The WP does the giving and the SAHP the taking. What happens down the road, who knows. When I was working part time, I was not contributing as much as dh. I was the taker. When he was developing his base software, I was the giver. Not an issue of give and take at all. Just recognition that a SAHP doesn't do as much as a WP and shouldn't be expecting help from someone who is already doing more than they are.

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