Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:33pm
No apology necessary. It's highly possible that I've said I'd rather work than do housework or something akin to that. It's not my favorite thing and I could find so many ways to put it off when I SAH, lol. One of the things I like about working is that I don't have to do it all. At the moment, I'm hardly doing any. Of course, I'm pulling my hair out but I'm not vaccuming, lol. Speaking of which, I've got to go put a bibliography page into APA format, which is what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing right now. I swear I'm hyper. I just can't do one thing at a time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:34pm
Okay, so a nanny, such as the one Petenjoeysmom employs, is not "working" either? Because she is essentially doing the same thing a SAHP would be doing, caring for two children. So, if the nanny is married, should she still be providing 100% of her households chores? I mean, after all, she isn't providing much "effort".

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:15pm
Oh,good grief,you are so full of it!I find it very hard to believe all your claptrap about socio -economic status when it sounds like you live in some industrial blighted area!Yeah,sahms don't read to their kids and are uneducated and poor where you live,but all the dcps and wohms are wealthy and educated and you all live in the same neighborhood,and you have a K teacher that is so unprofessional that she gossips about kids to *you*.LOL.That doesn't even add up.So,cyndi,why are you living in such a bad neighborhood?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:35pm
My husband would be upset if I skipped doing something for our children or didn't do something I'd love to do or pamper myself and did the housework first. We discussed this before marriage. We discuss it from time to time (as he has to remind me, honey, skip the housework and go do this or just do that).

No, my guests are waiting on the porch, because the house is always presentable. However, if there was one thing out of place, I'd entertain outside until I could get it taken care of before I let them in. It is just how I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:39pm
Claritan has the same affect as drinking water plus I can't function, no matter what time of day I took it, I was way too sleepy (cannot even drive a car on it, ugh). I haven't been taking anything w/ttc and pregnancy but thinking allegra would be one I'd like to try. I use to take the allergy injections but thankfully I don't do those anymore. My DS is now on zyrtec daily as is my nephew (brother's child). My niece has allergies ever bit as bad as mine, we knew it, but received confirmation from allergy specialist this week so she will be eventually starting allergy injections. Poor thing she is allergic to basically everything I am plus peanut/pb allergy (external only, doesn't affect her inside, strange, huh?) She also has the drainage and throwing up I experience.

I sympathize with you also. Does living in California make it any easier? Got to be better than the bluegrass state (although this is home and I can't imagine ever moving and living elsewhere).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:41pm
You just said what I've been wanting to put into typed words! And you did a great job of presenting it, go, go, go!

And ya know what, if Cindy and Trip have such a problem with others life styles they will have to just deal because it isn't going to change how others choose to live their lives!

MSN I really enjoy your postings, keep it up!

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:46pm
The only thing I agree with is that a SAHP shouldn't, on a regular basis, have the WOHP come home to housework. It WILL happen sometimes, by virtue of the sometimes unexpected things that can happen for a SAHP during the day, however. I rarely have any housework to do when DH comes home and I'd never ask him to dust, vacuum or fold clothes unless we were having a party that weekend. I even mow the lawns, take out the trash and water the flowers because I don't WANT him to do it when he gets home. I want HIM with US. I don't do it, however, because I think he works hard enough and should do NOTHING but make money. Please, I'll get me a sugar daddy if I want that. LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:52pm
I have done both. I am now WOH, and it has been much easier than when I was SAH with my children FT. (note: I'm saying FT, not after they started school)

Going to work, even with the level of responsibility I have picked up (unintentionally), is a breeze compared to the work I put in every day raising my kids, taking care of my family, and doing what I did around the house (no, not all of the housework, but enough).

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:54pm
ITA w/you on that one.

When my husband walks in the door it is family time for us from 6-11pm. Now he does have the yard and flower beds to tend to on the wknd, but those are not undone by me, they are his babies. That is more of a hobby than work for him. It would be a major chore for me.

Most anything I left undone (by myself or my husband's urging to avoid it and go play and have fun) is stuff I can do the next day as far as daily/weekly chores. But the deep cleaning sometimes gets left undone and he will spend 2hrs a month total helping or doing that, no biggie.

My husband never takes out the trash and ours goes out daily. My husband doesn't take the recycables out, I do that, several times every day as I recycle and have a full "curbie" of it overflowing every wk. He does fill the yard waste "curbie" but since he does the yard work that would be natural. I bring the laundry down 2 floors and take it back up 2 floors, everything gets put away so he can open the closet, open the drawer and find it.

I don't iron. I can't iron to suit him (particular!) We agreed on that one early in our relationship LOL

If it was an everyday occurance I could see a big deal. But I'd NEVER do that anyway (I couldn't stand it myself). But occasionally, not a big deal.

And since my husband says I'd be upset if you stayed home to do a and b instead of going to the pool I'm doing what he really wants me to do, so why feel guilty?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:58pm
My husband feels it is fair so I really don't see any point of us changing our life styles because you say it isn't. My husband will tell you he'd be really upset if I stayed home to clean, cook, run to walmart for food over taking DS to the pool or doing something for myself.

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