Why does some people think women at home
Find a Conversation
Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

Pages
Thanks for your kind words. I'm still pretty peeved that Soup took as long as it did to control the situation; there's simply no excuse for it. But I'm glad the borg is gone :)
The difference in parenting hours is one of the negatives I see in the SAHM/WD model. Dads are move involved when moms work. If dad is hardly spending any time with the kids, maybe mom needs to get a job.
Edited 6/15/2003 3:42:24 PM ET by cyndiluwho
ChefsDozen
It is very sad Cindy you can't see how mutual agreements and mutual respects can work in other marriages just because you wouldn't have it in yours.
Your postings are getting sillier and more stupid.
Again I agree but just having a SAHW does not create that dynamic. That dynamic is created by the fathers working mega hours, many fathers with spouses who work also work mega hours.
"Not a contest but when dad spends too little with the kids"
Let's compare two parents:
Parent A, WOHM who has parent that also works
Parent B, WOHD with a SAHW
Both work the same exact hours.
Parent A, sees her children in the morning before work, she sees them in the afternoon/evening after work. She sees them on weekends, holidays and vacation days.
Parent B, sees his children in the morning before work, he sees them in the afternoon/evening after work. He sees them on weekends, holidays and vacation days.
Why is Parent B spending too little time with his kids if he is spending the same exact amount as the parent with a WOHP.
"IMO, and I've said this before, the one thing you should be trying to equalize is the time spent with kids NOT the housework."
I agree that in a SAH/WOH situation the WOH parent should not have to come home to housework. But it has nothing to do with trying to equalize the time spent with the kids but to spend as much time as possible with them.
"Dads are move involved when moms work"
Statiscally that is true, but the thing about statistics is in both catagories you will find Dads at both end of the spectrum. You will find SAHM's with very involved Dad's, you will find SAHM with very uninvolved Dads, you will find WOHM's with very involved Dads and WOHM with very uninvolved Dads. Also all of the stats I have seen in the subject the difference has been very minimal, I think less then one hour per week.
You seem to have this scenario that in WOH/SAH families the WOH parent is always working mega hours because they have to because their spouse won't "pull their weight". But that is very often not the case. There are many WOHP with SAHP who are working normal 40 hour weeks and their are many WOHP with WOHP who are working mega hours. Just the fact that one has a SAHP or not does not always effect the work hours.
But I do agree that if it is a situation where the father is forced to work mega hours just so the mother can stay home then that is not a good situation. Most especially if he does not agree with the situation.
Some things have need to be equal, some things don't. Parenting needs to be equal. I prefer to do all things equal with my dh as there are benefits but one thing I would never settle for being unequal would be parenting.
Edited 6/15/2003 4:24:54 PM ET by cyndiluwho
Pages