Why does some people think women at home
Find a Conversation
Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

Pages
ChefsDozen
If you can afford a maid, go for it. Just don't tell me how you put in as much effort as your dh because I won't believe you.
But again, you're talking about finances alone. Families don't run on money alone. If all one needed was a ft job to care for a family, my life would be a lot simpler. But it's not. Yes, his effort is greater in regards to earning money. My effort is greater in regards to caring for the children (actively caring for them) and the home. So I guess we're equally unequal.
"When you quit your job, you gained a LOT of time to do other things."
Technically (not that this makes a diff) there was no job for me to quit. But yes, I do have a lot more time during your average weekday to do those everyday, and not so everyday, things. That's why we decided that for *us* a SAHP was ideal.
"There is no reason that time can't be used to clean the house when housekeepign is not a full time job by any means."
Which is why I do spend a large part of my time cleaning. But there is always something to clean here - and in many other homes. With constant traffic, a home rarely stays clean. Mine doesn't anyway. It wouldn't work if I decided that I'd spend from 10am-1pm doing housework. By 1:30 I'd need to start over. It's ongoing and lasts all day. (ps: none of my children nap on a regular basis. If my youngest does, it's on and attached to me. There's no downtime during the day) But yeah, I DO spend lots of time - from the time I get up till I fall asleep - doing housework.
"As for cleaning up after your dh, point me to the post where I said you should."
How would I *not* have to clean up after DH in order to do 100% of the housework?
He's in the house about 14 hours a day - he produces quite a bit of the mess. If you're saying that the SAHP, because they have more opportunity to do so, should do 100% of the housework, how would I not assume that involves cleaning up after the WP?
I am in total agreement that SAHP should accept the bulk of the housestuff (errands, appts, billpaying, school, cleaning, cooking...etc). I am in total aggrement that WP should not walk in the door and be expected to grab a dustpan. I do NOT agree, however, that WP automatically makes a bigger effort to care for the family. I honestly don't understand that line of thinking. That depends on SO many things. WP's job/hours/duties, the ages of children, number of children, their tempermants, their schedules... etc. Personally, I agree with you that SAH should not be on a pedestal, or anywhere near one. But I don't think WOH should be either. I think the old "SAH home is the hardest and most important job" is BS. There are tons of things in life that are harder and more important. But between my husband and I, our days require equal effort.
(and just for kicks, I spent this weekend running around the house picking everything up as soon as it hit the floor, cleaning every dish as soon as it hit the sink, etc. Everytime he's gone to reach for something to pick up, I've told him to kick back and relax and let me take care of that.... He's thoroughly annoyed)
How do you not clean up after dh?? Simple. Have him clean up after himself. Adults shouldn't have to clean up after adults. If dh makes a mess, he cleans it up, except for the kitchen. We have an agreement there. He cooks and I clean. But that's not a bad trade off since he's a great cook.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I can tell, you don't just don't get it, you'll never get it, it is beyond your beliefs that husbands and wives can actually have this kind of mutual agreement and respect from one another.
Thanks mrs lou, we get it, we understand where you come from and how sad you think.
Pages