Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 6:24pm
Has to be certified and educated? Not necessarily. I know quite a few women who go into the homes of people to sit for their kids, wash up a few dishes, take the kids to the park, etc. and they have no certificates, formal training (other than a CPR class from a local hospital or EMT unit).

I've got news for you. I know some wonderful people that I wouldn't mind hiring in heartbeat to come in daily and provide childcare if I ever got the urge to go out and work.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 6:31pm
But there's no disparity when you take care of each other and the kids - unless you see earning a paycheck as the only way one takes care of another person or the family.

But this -

"How do you not clean up after dh?? Simple. Have him clean up after himself. Adults shouldn't have to clean up after adults. If dh makes a mess, he cleans it up, except for the kitchen. We have an agreement there. He cooks and I clean. But that's not a bad trade off since he's a great cook."

I didn't simply ask "How do you not clean up after dh??", I asked how do you not clean up after the working parent if you are doing 100% of the housework. You can't say that a SAHP must do 100% of the housework AND WP should clean up after themselves. I try not to clean up after him with the big stuff (shaving in the freshly scrubbed sink), but like you said elsewhere, sometimes it's easier just to do it.

I very gladly do all the cooking and would if our days were reversed. I love to cook. DH, on the other hand, would have us all eating hamburger helper 7 days a week. I taught myself to cook a few years ago to avoid that. There've been a few kitchen fires in the process, but I got there. (and now am in mid remodel to finally do away with the charred cabinets)

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:27pm
Housework doesn't include picking up after adults. And you have a disparity because one party is putting in a lot more effort than the other. Housework just does not compare to a full time job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:27pm
Actually it's extremely odd in 2003 to stay home and be a housewife before children. Very, very odd. Even heiresses have some sort of career, even if it's just for fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:29pm
And you've got nerve to claim that going for ice cream takes effort.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:32pm
You're confused. I never said the husband was supporting the wife, I just can't stomach the whiners here who go on and on about how hard it is to stay home and about how much work they have. Like I don't know. BTDT, so the whinese isn't working on me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:36pm
That's fine, obviously you're spending oodles of time on optional and frivolous pursuits, so don't come here and complain about how busy your life as a sahm is and how you can't get the housework done. I mean, whose kids go to school year round? Too bad, if your child did, you might have even more free time. That's YOUR choice if you choose "pampering yourself" over cleaning the house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:45pm
I'm sorry you can't read. I said about 2hrs a month doesn't get done. I've said that several times. I'm really sorry. No, I'm busier when school is in session as there are alot of things to do w/school that I'm involved in. School holidays and summer vacations are a more relaxing, less busy time. I said also the daily and weekly chores around the house are always accomplished, but you didn't read that either. Again, sorry. I never said sah was busier than woh, it isn't. That is your illusion. But it is easy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:46pm
I never said sah is hard. It is busy. But it isn't hard. It isn't busier or harder than woh, that is certainly true. But you are not reading the post right apparently. I also never whined, I don't whine in real life (no need to do so) and I don't in cyberspace. YOur rude attitude is beyond me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:46pm
You're just so grateful the minute someone agrees with you. Dont' be such a syncophant, it's embarrassing.


Edited 6/15/2003 7:47:38 PM ET by trip59

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