Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:47pm
Odd in your area apparently. Not true here in Kentucky. I know many housewives, women who choose to be at home over working before children, after raising children and they have left home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:48pm
ITA. I would have hired a lady to keep my children had I desired to be a working wife and it would have been in my home or hers and only caring for my children. There are alot of women doing this type of work and I have friends who have greatly used this type of childcare services over other choices in childcare.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:49pm
There is more to managing a home and maintaining a family than the cleaning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:50pm
Your the one that is embarrassing yourself. If I see someone with the same view I do agree with them and I say so per typed message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:50pm
Joking, apparently went over your head (again). Sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:57pm
Do it any way you like, I don't care, just don't come here and say that a woh husband should help you because you can't get it all done.


Honestly, I could care less if some incredibly grateful husband (I can't imagine the toad that would be so grateful), agreed to let his wife lie on the couch and devour bon-bons all day while he worked a full-time job and came home to wait on her hand and foot. That's his problem. Just don't let that wife come here and say that she can't get the housework done. That's the issue I have a problem with.

Just be honest and say "You know, I really do have time to get all the housework done while my husband is at work, I just choose to pursue more leisurely activities and my husband doesn't mind". Why can't people see the difference?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:59pm
Sorry, I think I was confusing you with CLW.

But I really don't recall anyone *whining* about having too much work to do. The majority of posters here have stated that they place a higher priority on spending quality time pursuing educational opportunities with their children then they do on housework so that occasionally there are things that are left undone.



However, I do believe that for a lot of women out there this doesn't come naturally. I know it didn't for me - I got married at 23 and inherited a four year old on the same day. I had NO IDEA what was expected of me and it took me a while to "catch up." And while this is probably an "extenuating circumstance", I've spoken with many women who were ill-prepared for taking care of a home. Either their mothers didn't teach them or didn't know how themselves. If housework came naturally, I doubt there would be so many books and tv shows on the topic. Just because something comes easily for you, doesn't mean it comes easily for everyone.

In my house, for the most part, everything that needs to get done in a given week gets done. But there are weeks where my boss calls from Nebraska and drops an extra assignment on me, or the kids are climbing the walls with boredom and we need to take a day trip. If there are things left undone, they just don't get done. DH may do some of them, but that's up to him and is no way required.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 8:05pm
"The majority of posters here have stated that they place a higher priority on spending quality time pursuing educational opportunities with their children then they do on housework so that occasionally there are things that are left undone."

That was what I was saying for sure. I don't whine. It is very unbecoming to a lady and a wife. I don't whine IRL or in cyberspace and have no patience for whining IRL or cyberspace.

I did add to the above and say my husband tells me "I'd rather you do something for yourself, pamper yourself and let this or that go around the house". I tell him the same things.

"In my house, for the most part, everything that needs to get done in a given week gets done."

Ditto. I do the lion's share, I do the majority. Your basic daily and weekly chores. I've stated that several times in this line of debate.

"If there are things left undone, they just don't get done. DH may do some of them, but that's up to him and is no way required."

Ditto for our home and marriage. Nothing is required or expected of one another. We work together for the common good and goals of our family, home, and marriage.





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 8:10pm
I was discussing this whole debate with my husband last night (and my father this morning). DH found the whole thing absurd. In his opinion, HE has the easier life. And on the subject of equality, he couldn't understand why there would be any question. He actually could not even fathom the conversation. (but did say I should probably spend less time on the board - not because I don't get my work done, but because I get so darn frustrated.lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 8:14pm
Absurd. That would be my husband's thoughts and words on this very debate and the things written here by Cindy and Trip! My husband and my father will tell you that they have the easier life. My Dad has said that several times and my husband also. My husband can't understand this whole equality deal either, he doens't agree w/what Cindy and Trip have been saying, not at all. It is so different from our views on marriage, family, and our home.

It is nice to chat w/you again, I so enjoy reading your postings and they are so true!

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