Why does some people think women at home
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Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

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Either you're a parent or you're not. What's sex got to do with it, got to do with it....(she sang in her best Tina Turner imitation)
I wonder if cindylouwho looks upon nannies, day care workers, etc. with as much contempt as she does sahm's. The main difference is that the nannies, day care workers etc. get a paycheck, but cinylouwho INSISTS that its not about money, but "effort" , so I wonder how she figures a nanny or day care worker puts in more effort than the sahm.
Personally, in my family, we do what works best for all. No insistence that both partners suffer equally, or any nitpicking about who makes more $,or who should do what. I go back & forth from WOH, SAH, and occasional odd jobbing. I don't grouse if dh asks me to iron a shirt for a job interview, or polish up his resume, no crap about it being "his" job, and I don't ask dh to do housework, but he will pitch in VOLUNTARILY, and be happy to do so, because that's just what we do. We do whatever needs to be done that works for our family, but of course, there are some on this board who think everyone has to do it THEIR way, or something is wrong. My husband and I used to joke, when we were both WOH, that we split the housework 40/40. About 20% just doesn't get done. Neither one of us is into the white glove, spic & span, house, but our house is not a pig pen either. Just moderately clean. Our emphasis seems to be on RELATIONSHIPS. As a couple, as parents, as a family, etc. That is so much more important to us, than counting dollars, and counting hours put in, and comparing how much more one is suffering on the job. Relationships are hard to quantify or classify. (ALA, the whole, is taking care of your children work debate) Guess people like cindlouwho or trip59 or any of the other b!+c#es on this board will never understand how families who do not live within their narrow view of things can still be happpy.
Really, it does. If I'm mopping the floor and DH happens to walk across an unclean or already cleaned portion leaving muddy footprints, I'm going to mop over it. When I'm doing dishes, I don't leave his out. When scrubbing the tub, I'm not going to scrub around a smudge obviously left by him. Grown ups clean up after grown ups all the time. There are certain things that I won't do or only do if I have to, but for the most part housework certainly does include cleaning up/picking up after your grown up spouse.
There is NO disparity in effort between my spouse and I. His effort is directed in a different way than mine, sure. But it's not more than mine. Or less than mine. There are too many variables there.
What SAHM ONLY has housework to do during daytime hours? No, in most cases, housework doesn't "compare" (do married people sit down everynight and compare notes on who does more and when?) to a ft job. But *compared* to *my* husband's ft job, between our kids, our house, us, and our bills, it compares quite easily. When he walks in the door, we're even.
Edited 6/15/2003 11:48:59 PM ET by akpennington
It is like what you said. I wash his dishes, I don't set the aside. Same w/laundry. I scrub the shower, I don't only clean 1/2 of it so he can do his part. I take out all the trash in the baths and kitchens so that means I take out his trash as well as mine. I tote his laundry to the washer and back up to the bedroom and I put it away. I make the whole bed, not just my side.
I don't only have housework obligations every day. There is so much more to being a wife and mom than the cleaning.
ITA w/you on the even part, ITA!
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Are you genuinely curious as to where clotheslines are still allowed? I've never heard of clotheslines being disallowed. Why would they be?
Is it some sort of safety issue? Or... is it asthetic? Legislating what a person puts in their yard seems like a waste of time & money.
Edited 6/16/2003 1:13:18 AM ET by iomoon
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The cocktail party circuit? You've never heard of women who choose to be housewives, have a cocktail party circuit, & no clothelines allowed....where in the heck are you from?!?!
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
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