Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:34pm
The debate in this particular thread was not only about that, but about whether or not the sahp was *unequal* to the working parent. That they made less of an effort to contribute to the household, that running a household was not as big of an effort as working.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:34pm
ITA. Someone with a high SES doesn't live in a town where half the kids are from such desperately poor and uneducated families that they don't know what a book is at age 5. It simply doesn't happen. That explains so much about cyndi's perspective -- to her, a SAHM is shirking her duties because in her neighborhood, SAHMs' families are very poor. And on that point I would agree with her -- it's really not OK to stay home if it puts your family into poverty.

A person with a high SES, whose SAHM neighbors have nice homes and take the kids to music classes, reading day at the library, Gymboree, etc., would have a different take on this issue.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:39pm
I live in a very expensive part of the country. However, I am not wealthy and own a small 2 bedroom coop. I could sell my coop and probably be able to buy a house in a less expensive part of the country. However, we choose to stay here.

We have friends/relatives/acquaintances from varying economic backgrounds. We do know women who never developed a career and therefore SAH made the most sense when it came time to have children. We also know women who had very satifying lucrative careers and married later. They chose to SAH because they felt they had accomplished their goals and now wanted to focus on childrearing.

i would say in general in our area people marry later in life and tend to have a higher standard of living as they are older.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:39pm
same here, I don't know any sahm's who don't hold college degrees. It's all about where you live I guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:41pm
In the northeast, for one. Lots of people I know use Merry Maids (including myself, for a while there), and by default call the workers the "maids." Most people refer to them as "cleaners," but I know plenty of people who call them "maids."
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 12:50pm
Absolutely!!! LOL! (nt)
Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 1:18pm
Snort! You are too funny. n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 1:21pm
You know I agree-after being home ft for 2 years, working pt is a lot easier in some ways.

Another thing I was thinking about-along the lines of the whole housework issue, when a wohp cleans the house in the evening, that house stays clean and empty all day!!!! Totally different than being IN a house and cleaning it as you go on a daily basis. If I only had to do housework once a day, I'd feel like I had it pretty easy. But when we are picking up legos or putting away playdough for the 3rd time in a day, doing breakfast dishes, doing lunch dishes, sweeping the floor 3x a day because the dogs tracked mud in AGAIN....you know what I mean??

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for kazoomom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 1:37pm
I thought it was just me. My mom did it and I think it smells like wet dog. :)
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 1:42pm
although my apt is clean during the day while I am work, its seems like its only 10 minutes after I am home that the dog messes up the apt with everything he has brought in from outsided and there are toys all over the place. Although I dont have to worry about lunch, there are dinner dishes.

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