Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 2:27pm
Remember, everything needs to be *EQUAL.* LOL. I don't get it. nt
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 2:55pm
I don't freakin' believe this. It's ALL about the almighty dollar to you. Two people can complete the same task, but, to you, only the one who is getting paid for it is working. How completely hysterical.

Would a nanny scrub my toilets, wash my car, change the sheets, wash my clothes, pick up the dog poop? There's more to SAH than just playing with the kids.....

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:01pm
Yeah but I do all those tasks you mentioned including the dog poop and work.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:02pm
Right, and in YOUR *opinion* and your opinion only, NO SAHM could EVER put 40 hours worth of what you deem *work* into a week. Those of us who feel we contribute and have DHs who are thrilled with the situation are WRONG, NOT EQUAL, etc.

I just disagree with your logic. There are plenty of days in which I put MORE effort than DH. As I've said over and over here, it depends on how many kids you have, their ages, DH's job, your personalities, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:15pm
I don't even see any logic in clw or trip's post on this question.

It isn't the same logic we live by here in Texas.

They will never see how some have Dh who think and act differently from how they think and act.

I've enjoyed the riveting debate my ? brought up and the far out there beliefs that have arose to the top.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:20pm
You know, most of the sahs I know are as you describe (myself included, lol!). Having children later in life AFTER establishing a lucrative career, feeling like that part of their life has been fulfilled and it was time to focus on raising a family. I see life as a series of stages. I spent my 20's and early 30's working ,traveling, playing, and so on. Got married at 33 (with a ready-made family as dh had a 6yo!) and had ds at 34, and felt that it was time to shift into another phase. Later, when the children are older, I'll be shifting into yet ANOTHER phase, possibly including career #2.

I think that having children a bit later really afforded me the freedom to do these things, because I was pretty well-established financially before I even got married. Rather than feeling stagnant and trapped in the corporate rut, I feel like dh and I are really open to lots of different things and options.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:24pm
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I don't either, but maybe I'm just crazy because I don't think they NEED to be.

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Count me OUT of the "most" you speak of. I have loved each of my jobs. I love working. I love dealing with customers and I don't particularly find bosses difficult to put up with.

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Again, an opinion that's based solely on your experience and the experience of the limited number of people you've come in contact with. I don't know ANY SAHM who was attracted to SAH because they thought it would be easy. My best friends would actually PREFER to be working, but don't want their kids in outside care. Even *I* would love to work full time, both because I love working and I'd love to have the money. I chose to work only part time in order to spend more time with my kids and to avoid daycare.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:47pm
Oh who cares? Geez, it's prohibited in every town THAT I KNOW OF in the county, I don't know all the zoning regulations for every town in the entire county. I don't have that much time on my hands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:49pm
I think you've hit on a central issue. I agree that SAH and WOH are not equal, and that would make me, in my marriage, uncomfortable. But I do understand, at least from the wives' point of view, that there are marriages that are not "equal" in this way by mutual agreement that seem to function just fine. The problem is one of orientation. I've never even dated a man who has wanted a SAHW, so I don't understand that perspective. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist or isn't valid, it's just that it's foreign to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 3:50pm
To establish credibility. Not a single one of your posts has anything to do with the debate at hand, so why are you even posting?

I'm sure you see no need to answer my questions. Don't bother, no answer is all the answer I need.

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