Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Mon, 06-16-2003 - 9:56pm
And now everyone not in the area knows, too.LOL

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:48am
Just how high did I claim my SES is, lol? I claimed it's higher than it would have been if I didn't work and that is absolutely true. I never claimed to live in the upper crust. I claimed I improve my family's SES and that I do! One of the reasons we'll move before my dd's hit Jr. High is that, in this area, education levels tend to be low since it's a blue collar town. At the moment, I prefer not to be house poor. The schools are fair here and that there's an issue with reading readiness upon entry into kindergarten is really not an issue when my kids aren't the ones with the problem.


Edited 6/17/2003 2:42:18 AM ET by cyndiluwho
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:51am
No. Dh cleans up his own messes. If he can work for a living for you, I'd hope you could cook dinner while you're cooking it for the kids. I'm saying that he can't come home an throw peanut shells on the floor and expect that the SAHP will sweep up after him not that he should behave as if he's single.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:53am
No I didn't. I said that under normal circumstances the dh is usually putting in more effort. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, running a household just isn't difficult!
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:10am
Actually, they don't need to be. I'm just saying they aren't. You can structure your life any way you want. This all started with me saying I wanted to be dh's equal. Not everyone strives to be equal. I never said they did. I don't understand not wanting to be equal but I concede that many don't care to be equal. Why people are getting up in arms over my saying it's an unequal sitaution, when, frankly, it usually is, is beyond me. All of this started with my saying I want to be dh's equal. I never said anyone else had to want that. I don't understand wanting someone else to take care of you but I can see that plenty of women out there want just that.


Edited 6/17/2003 2:26:22 AM ET by cyndiluwho
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:16am
It doesn't. I never said it did. This all started with my saying that one of the reasons I work is that I want to be dh's equal. Which I do. I've had upmteen people trying to tell me that it is an equal situation ever since, which I'll never buy.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:19am
Being a parent and hands on parenting are two different things. It's the difference in time parenting between the parents that is at issue. If a child spends all their time with one parent and half their time with the other, the first parent is primary and the other secondary. No, you don't have to be with a child 24 x 7 to parent and parent well but when one parent has so much more time with the kids than the other, they become secondary to that parent. It's the time difference that is at issue here. DWP's don't face this as time missed with the parent isn't extra time the other parent has.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:20am
Not in normal situations. SAH just doesn't compare to being a WP under most situations.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:38am
No, BTDT and got bored. Just a strong sense of responsiblity. I'm not going to ask someone else to pull my weight because I goofed off. Not at home or at work.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 2:40am
No, people just clean up their own messes. Don't have to color coordinate anything to do that. It's common courtesy to pick up after yourself.

Pages