Why does some people think women at home
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Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

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Common courtesy isnt just about cleaning up one's own messes, its doing something if you see that it needs to be done. I mean, if the trash can is full, should dh just pile more cr@p on it till mom can get to emptying it? Or should he be *courteous* enough to take it out himself?
Seriously. You have said over and over that dad should not have to do ANY of the housework. The sahm should do 100 percent. But dad contributes to the mess too. So how can you have it both ways? How can the sahm not clean up after the wohp, yet the wohp not doing any household chores? Oh, and should the sah with 2 kids under 5 be out mowing the lawn too? Is the outside of the house part of her *duty* to the working spouse? What about oil changes on the car? Those too? Dont want working dad to dirty his widdle paws now.....
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
When mom SAH, it's hard for dad to be an equal parent. As part of a DWP team, we don't have this issue. Even when mom works she tends to be the primary parent (due to her tending to take over when she's home which is something we women need to work on). It's that much harder if mom SAH. Honestly, if a parent is going to SAH, it should be dad because women do have a tendency to take over when they're home. If dad's the parent in charge during the day and mom in the evening and weekends, then things are balanced. If mom is the parent in charge all the time and dad only on occaision, which is all too often the case, then there is no balance. Mom is primary and dad secondary. I don't want my kids to have a secondary parent.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Running a household just does not compare to being a WP. Not by a mile, in most cases. No the aveage SAHM isn't working as hard as her dh. That's why she should be doing the housework instead of expecting him, the one who already works more, to help her, the one who already works less.
I also agree that mothers not giving up the reigns is a problem but again that is not just a SAHM issue but also happens in WOHM familes.
Sure wasn't an issue in our case, after being with them all day some days I was shoving them at him as soon as he walked in the door. LOL.
I understand what you are saying but you are being very black and white, SAHP/WOHP familes are unbalanced, WOHP/WOHP are balanced and that is not the case across the board. It has more to do with the family then the work status. I know that you said that when you work your DH is a more involved father but many fathers with SAHW are just as involved as your DH is. When I was AH, my DH did the bedtime routines (often alone). He took them to some of their doctor appointments, he spent on average about 8 hours a week with them along while I ran errands/had time to myself. He has been the parent they wanted when sick. I did not have to get a paying job to make any of that happen it was able to happen and me be a SAHM.
Fairness? If two people, grown mature adults, say it is fair the way they handle their household, then wouldn't it be fair for them?
May not seem fair to you.
I do agree that roles shift. Heck, I was making twice DH's salary when we met, and now he makes more than I do. I just don't feel comfortable with totally lopsided relationships (NOT that you personally or any other poster here has one), whether they are fluid or stagnant.
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