Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:15am
How do you define equality? As in equal contributions to the marriage/household?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:17am
Some married people care, and some don't. It's not necessarily ridiculous.

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Avatar for kazoomom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:19am
Would they be equal or would the HS graduate move ahead in earning power if the graduate went blind? The point is there's NO WAY to make a blanket statement without knowing all the factors involved. This is what people keep repeating here.

What if a SAH parent has real estate income in their name only, i.e. earning power? Is that person more equal to the spouse then?

Avatar for kazoomom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:21am
That's how I see it. Why is it so hard to admit that equality is based on more than just money?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:22am
There are lots of variations in measuring and being equal. Is it over the course of a marriage? One year? During the kids' early years? I don't dispute that. What I dispute is when posters say either equality doesn't matter (it does to some people) or that one person bringing 100% of the income into the household is "equal" because of the contributions of the non-working spouse.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:24am
It's the "Golden Rule." Whoever has the gold ultimately makes the rules. Sorry, I really do see this as the bottom line.

A SAHM can't keep a Saturday haircut appt. if her working spouse has to work (unless she gets someone to watch the kids). The non-income generating activities and plans have to come second. How is that equal?

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Avatar for kazoomom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:24am
You're right, that's what I think we need to define here. I think it's easy to jump all over the place when we aren't starting with the same set of parameters. Is it money? labor? earning potential? education? household chores? childcare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:24am
Yes, I base on it on contributions to the household. I also think marriage ebbs and flows in terms of equality. There are different stages of a marriage and one partner may do more for the other partner. That might change 20 years later.

I think it is really sad to even think of equality in a marriage. My marriage is a partnership and we have never been unequal. We work as a team (I sound like SAhousemommy). I don't sit around worrying I am unequal to my husband.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:25am
Yes, a person with only a HS diploma can make a good living and a person with a Master's degree can be unsuccerssful.

However, in general it has been proven that the more educated a person is the higher their earning potential is. peteynjoeysmom is not wrong in making that blanket statement
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:28am
I think you and your DH have been and are going through alot together, and I can see how you feel that way.

My marriage is a partnership, but in different ways. And yeah, equality is an issue to both of us, and it's not sad. Otherwise, frankly, he would take advantage of my work ethic and anal retentiveness!

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