Why does some people think women at home
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Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

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I am talking about normal circumstances.
As far as the Ford executive if he wanted her home and she was happy there then thats fine . It seems unecessary to have her home as there isnt that much work in running a household. Also as a FORD exec, I would imagine he could afford to hire plenty of help.
If you were out of town and he had to work, couldn't he make arrangements for the kids?
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Neither would some lazy slug of a husband who might work 40 hours a week but then park himself in front of the TV when he gets home and expect to be waited on.
I think deep down people know who's doing more of their fair share in pulling their weight around the house. It may me honky dory with a woh husband if his wife has a maid everyday, but you couldn't even get him to admit that his wife is putting forth as much effort to run the household. She's obviously putting in less effort, but if that's OK with him, well, I see it happen all the time. Some men get off on having household help as much as their wives do, if only to keep up with the Joneses and to impress people, but everyone knows how easy the sahm might have it.
I can think of 2 women in particular with live in help. They spend most of the summer at the field club in town. The running joke is that they should have bronzed lounge chairs with their names engraved on a plaque. Even their husbands know how little the wives do, but because they make so much money, they don't really care (one has a seat on the Exchange on Wall Street, the other cashed out of a dotcom for estimates of between 10-20 million in the early 90's). So hey, why not, but those women wouldn't dare pretend that they're too busy to do housework, they know better, and they know they aren't putting in their equal share of effort, but then again, they don't have to.
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Are you saying you don't count on DH ever to be free to be with his children?
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Anyway, I agree that having a dad who is not actively involved is a risk when mom sah. In fact, I know a few families who are this way. I also agree that it is less likely to be a problem when it is dad who sah, and I have seen this IRL as well. I am not anti-daycare (have used it myself with positive results), but I think it is ridiculous to suggest that my very young children would be better of if I got a full-time job so that they wouldn't spend too much time with me.
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