Why does some people think women at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Why does some people think women at home
1494
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.

If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?

WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?

IQM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:21pm
I agree!

That's why I subscribe to the "takes a village" theory of child raising!

Seriously, I don't see the intrinsic value of it always being a parent or other relative to play Candyland for the 5th time that day, going to the zoo, etc., etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:24pm
Yep, but you get to sit in your classroom at lunch with no children (most of the time anyway) and get a little silence. You get to drive to work alone and home alone. You get to walk into the bathroom by yourself and stay in there for 10 minutes if you want.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:24pm
Did you not read where sahwm quoted in many postings a mere 2hrs a month of left undone house cleaning? I've read it a few times in reading over this debate in the last hour. How did you miss it?

Why do you care what others do in their homes & marriages is an even more compelling question?

ChefsDozen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:25pm
Right. Not necessary. But it didn't go out with modern society for all women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:30pm
Not the way I make it. I also make it fresh rather than can it. I'd rather make it & put it on the table that night for the meal. Women have different ways, this is my preference.

Making a large quantity of bread and rolls plus donuts/pastries at once is more time consuming than smaller amounts. I prefer those fresh weekly as opposed to baking & freezing method, which I do but rarely.

I go to extremes, and admit it, in my food preparation because it is dear and near to my heart.

Coupon clipping is something I can't speak about as I have no experience.

ChefsDozen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:33pm
I am pretty against dc, especially of the *center* variety, for a myriad of reasons. If I *had* to do it, like I said, I'd choose a nanny or au pair situation in my home-and I'd be very hesitant even then.

I dont necessarily think it HAS to be a family member caretaking the kids, just someone we trust completely. And I fully admit that because of my own issues, I'd have to know them pretty darn well to trust them completely. I do sometimes have one of my girfriends watch the kids, but these are people I've known for over 15 years and DO trust.

I was physically abused by a babysitters husband from age 6-7. I didnt tell my dad until I was 18. At 38, the memory is still *with* me. Those kind of things cause irrepairable damage, it cannot be undone, you just learn to deal with it. One of the many reasons I just couldnt *go* there when it came to the thought of placing my children in dc. Logically, the risk of it happening to them is small, but emotionally, I couldnt even take that tiny risk.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:33pm
My maid does do the final prep work for dinner and she does most the marketing (I've taught her how to shop to my specifications, part of her job here), usually daily. But I do the big prep (canning, making fresh sauces, breads).

We just have differing opinions of what we prefer to feed our families. I know different is hard from you is hard to swallow, we all don't live by the same book.

ChefsDozen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:35pm
sounds like any job
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:41pm
That's very true, but so will you in a few short years. Don't forget, your kids will go to school in a while and you'll get your chance too. I've been where you are now, but at the time, I preferred sah and being "on" all day to schlepping to the office, dealing with clients, bosses, deadlines, etc. After all, there's no deadline on when the paints and playdough have to be picked up.

I have to laugh though, you brought back memories of the days when I would scream "I just want to go to the bathroom by myself!". Yep, I do remember how frustrating that was, but that too shall pass.


Edited 6/17/2003 1:45:06 PM ET by trip59

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 1:42pm
Don't you have a nail to file?

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