Why does some people think women at home
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Why does some people think women at home
| Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:02am |
should do it all? I hear this and think why should a woman at home do every thing? Shouldn't it be whatever works? Shouldn't it be whatever floats the boat of the married couple? Confused on this thinking.
If you are home do you do it all? How does your DH or SO feel?
WOH do you do it all or do you split it? Do you do more or less since you WOH?
IQM

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So I respectfully disagree.
And also...I don't see what's the big deal if a person wants to clean up after other adults. Even though I am a single mom of two I still clean my mom's refrigerator faithfully every month (she lives alone mind you) because it helps her out and I enjoy making her life a little easier. If that's what you want to do and it works...why the heck not?
DH and I can each do either or both child care and earn a living wage. That's equality. Two independent people, rather than two interdependent people.
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But if one person SAH and has no income and the other one is providing all the money - what happens when both want to buy something and there is only enough money to afford one? Who wins? Wouldn't the WOH parent have the upper hand in the discussion simply because he/she is the "owner" of the income? If the SAH parent wins, don't you think there might be a little resentment on the part of the WOH parent?
In our country and culture, the money belongs to the spouse who earned it.
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Would not that also be true of a WOHM?
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And it's not just about exerting the upper hand. Even if the DH didn't fight to win the argument by pulling the "it's my money" card, they still are likely to harbor resentment.
Regardless of what people say works in their marriages, the truth is that, in the US at least, the money belongs to the person who makes it. Has been that way since the early 1800's when we switched from an agricultural society to an industrial one. In 1800 the income was counted as "family income" because the family business was run by the entire family, kids included. With the industrial revolution, people went out to work and earned a wage, and the focus of income shifted from family to individual. Of course at this point it didn't matter much because any money a woman made belonged to her husband anyway.
And if the two people divorce, the woman and children will no doubt be forced into a lower status of living, by virtue of the fact that the money was never hers to begin with.
I don't like it, but it is the truth.
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Some of us just want to be the ones taking care of our kids. And being taken care of by our husbands is just a by-product of that.
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