Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:20pm

but I don't think I'd want him home alone for several hours every single workday


Why not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:24pm
I think you are absolutely right. He apparently needs it only on the occasions when he is on his own. Ds is on his own and responsible for getting himself home and to activities (via public transportation) nearly every day. It makes sense for him to have more regular access to a cell phone. But back to the original point: ds is nearly a teen and I don't see these issues. I think you mentioned that you expect these issues to come up with tweens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:26pm
Oh, I don't know...hanging around the house laying out and watching soaps all morning? I can't imagine that being fun, and so far, neither can my kids. They do spend some time reading, practicing their instruments, hanging out with their pets alone, but not hours every day. They're pretty social creatures who enjoy having friends over, going places, and for the older one, babysitting. I can imagine each of them enjoying an occasional down day, but not an entire summer full of hanging out and watching soaps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:27pm
Luckily, I don't see having any issues over music with my dd later on in the teen years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:30pm
If I had a son who was on public transportation every day and needed a cell phone, I'd supply him one. I don't, so my kids don't have cell phones of their own. If the teen culture in Sweden isn't such that the kids use the cell phones for social networking, then you won't see the issues I see here. It makes sense for you to make decisions for your kids based on their needs, personalities, and the issues they will likely face. It makes just as much sense for me to make decisions for my kids based on their needs, personalities, and the issues they will likely face.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:37pm
Ds can also go to friends' houses and upload music...in theory. In practice he can't because his ipod never goes anywhere with him. Ds could also bring home CDs to upload, but of course I wouldn't have to snoop to know what he's brought home and uploading, mainly because the computer is in the kitchen and it would be nearly impossible for him to do anything on it without me being aware of what he is doing. Again, he's not far off of being a teenager and has about as much freedom as most American teens, probably more than many come to think of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:42pm
It is what I enjoyed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:43pm
I completely agree with you...it depends on the kids, the culture and the individual needs of the family. Kids in Sweden probably do use cell phones for social networking to some extent, but for most it is also a practical tool. Kids generally don't get cell phones until they are done with afterschool care and expected to get home and to activities on their own. There simply is no point in having one earlier than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:45pm

Our computer is downstairs in the family room, and while there's usually an adult there in the evening, there is a lot of time, such as when I am in the kitchen cooking, or on weekends when I often go to bed before the kids, when there isn't an adult there. Or when the kids have friends over, they like a little privacy downstairs, so DH and I hang out upstairs in the den while the kids hang there, only checking in every now and again. I trust the kids to a certain extent, but DS#1 is very impulsive and both are likelier to do something dumb with their friends than when they are alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 4:46pm

You are very smart about it Laura.

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