Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 12:53pm
I disagree that it's "just music." I think the arts are very powerful -- music, literature, dance, visual arts. I think they influence us more than we know, for both good and bad. We are, as humans, very influenced by our environment and the stuff we put into our minds. That's why I have been pretty careful to surround my kids with the good stuff and not to have stuff I disapprove of available. As they get older, sure they will come into contact with it, I have always thought if I make my standards, and the reasons for them, pretty clear, that they will have a measuring stick. Maybe they'll test and reject it as they grow older, but I am finding that even though Baby Einstein can be a right royal pain in the rear, his core values are pretty strong. Maybe it had something to do with what he was exposed to as a small one, maybe not. Of course I like to think so, but who knows for sure?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 1:18pm

Yes but the term *good stuff* when it comes to the arts is very subjective.

For instance, I happen to think Prince is an amazing artist and singer and love his music. You might not agree with that and deem him inappropriate. Its just like books-what someone calls a classic might still be trash in anothers eyes. I love a lot of modern art-many people think its horrible. Where does one draw the line with censorship?

I want my kids to feel free to choose what THEY like, not what I like (and I am talking about teens here, not 7 year olds....I fully understand that small children have to be censored to some degree). I mean, sure, I draw the line at porn or things that depict harm to others, violence, etc. but I still say that for the most part *its just music*.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 1:35pm
I think we have pretty much the same standards with our teens. I wouldn't allow extreme racist/misogynist stuff into the house, not that that is a problem. I don't allow video games in the house that make it a game to hurt, even to pretend to hurt, people. I don't know why it's even a "game" to pretend to hurt other people. With my fourteen year old, I have never had to say "no" to any kind of music...my ten year old is funny -- he is surrounded by older kids he admires, because he plays in the jr high orchestra, and he is always telling me he wants some CD or another than a kid in his orchestra has recommended, and it's like this..."Aaron Copland? Sure. Mahler's First? Sure. Green Day? Uh....let me do a little checking and get back to you on that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 2:27pm
I love Evanesscense and my dds have listened to them with me. They love "Bring Me to Life" but think she's singing about a bad dream after seeing the video. There songs are dark, but the lyrics can be taken different ways. There were a lot of songs I heard growing up that I didn't understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 2:28pm
My kids haven't heard those two yet. I haven't bought their new cd and I don't listen to top 40 with my kids in the car (more because of the dj's than the music). I usually skip past certain songs on the 1st cd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 2:35pm

I never could understand not picking and choosing from the different genres. My dds can pick out any song from the Nutcracker or Swan Lake but they also like bluegrass and they love Laurie Berkner (from Noggin). I see no reason why the "good stuff" is usually limited to classical music (not that you're saying this, but that is usually what people seem to mean). I've heard classical music that I plain don't like, but that also goes for just about every genre. I don't usually like jazz but they had a teen jazz band playing at the library on Sat. that had me tapping along (they were VERY good). There can be "good" in any genre.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 2:41pm
I agree. I think my kids have had a pretty complete musical education.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 2:45pm
She has no opinion lyrics to songs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 5:27pm

Yes, i do sometimes for certain individuals. I think it is a excuse for some who truly are not mentally ill.

Mental illness is very real, but for some ppl it is a reason for attention and drug's.

Then agian that is addiction problem, which is tied to mental ilness.

Very confusing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 5:45pm

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So you think some people convince their psychiatrists they're mentally ill when they actually aren't, just to get attention and/or drugs?

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

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