Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 2:29pm

It has gone up. It's $300/wk./child full time, and if you're on a waiting list (you have to be to get a spot) and your spot comes up before you need it you pay or lose it.
Even being a teacher it wouldn't be worth it to pay for 2 kids in childcare. It would be my whole income.

Christine

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 2:34pm
Maybe where you live but I pay half that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 3:20pm

I realize that different parts of the country have different costs for different things. I was simply offering my perspective from someone who lives in an area where childcare is very expensive. I'm sure people would ask why a lot of moms here don't work or why they would ask for assistance when they could just get a job. This is why. I have a professional job with good pay, and it's not worth it for me to work once we have our second child. If you have a job with lower pay, (i.e. under $50,000) and 2 kids who are in daycare (not in school) it would be dumb to pay out more in childcare than I make, whether I was establishing a work history or not. It would actually decrease your household income.

Christine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 3:49pm

How dumb that is would depend on the long term effect. Often it can be quite smart to have a temporary descrease in household income in the short term income for long term gains. Going to college would be one example of that, working at a job that pays low until you have established yourself is another example and having to pay childcare costs for a few years could be another one.

Yes. someone may not bring home any income (or even loose income) during the years of paying childcare but staying in the workforce could mean that when they no longer have those expences their income would be much higher than it would be if they took those years off so in the long run the total increase to the family income would be higher.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 4:37pm
Alot of women are actually just working for the pension, medical and 401K while their children are in daycare. Once they go to regular school, they still have all of that AND can then contribute more to the household.
I am very lucky that my job contributes a part of the daycare cost and I only have 1 more year left. I only pay $185/week when it would be costing me, off the street about $300/week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 4:43pm
So you would compare speeding and being a drug dealer?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 5:54pm

Actually no, I wouldn't other than the fact of course that they are both illegal, which of course is what I stated when the question was raised.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 9:22pm
My point was if the only link you have to compare prostitution and fake purses is that both are illegal then that is weak. The analogy may be a good one, but to say they are both illegal is true but just a weak argument.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:36am

I reluctantly went on Paxil for anxiety for 7 months, several years ago. This is part of my medical history and my gyn knows about it. The clinician wanted to keep me on it for at least a year, and kept harping on the possibility that I might have to be on it for life. I wasn't happy with the clinicians treatment, so I started see a Naturopath who worked with a Family Practice MD. They had me off the meds in 7 months, and I have never needed to go back. (This was aprox 8 years ago)

This is part of my medical history and my gyn knows about it. He has out of the blue told me that if I ever need to go back on Paxil that he would be happy to prescribe it for me. I said no thanks.

I must admit, I did find it strange that my ob-gyn would tell me that out of the blue. Perhaps he thought he was just being helpful, and offering me a chance to get the meds without having to go through the "behavioral health" clinicians. (yes they called themselves behavioral health organization, and I hated the use of that term) He knows that my experience with them was negative. But I did think it was strange that an ob-gyn could prescribe Paxil.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:06am

It doesn't matter if any of personally know someone who has gone to an illegal purse party. The activity itself is illegal. And supports child labor, a fact that you said would NOT Keep you from buying your purse, if you knew for sure that the bags YOU were buying were made from child labor. You just want your bag and you couldn't care less who gets hurt so you can have your fake stuff.

I personally don't know anyone who has robbed a bank, and I don't need to, in order to know that robbing a bank is illegal.

There is NOTHING illegal about shopping in thrift stores, and the fact that you know one or two people who are chain smoking booze hounds who shop thrift, doesn't make it true for all thrifters and it still doesn't make thrift shopping illegal.

I am not a chain smoker and I am a very light social drinker. I went to the thrift over the weekend to buy stuff for my local community theater. While there I was a brand new Old Navy skirt with the tags on fro $5 and a velvet tank top in mint condition for $2, so I purchased those separately for myself. Nothing illegal about it, and now you know of at least one person who doesn't waste all of her money on booze and smokes who shops thrift. And I am a nice normal middle class person.

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