Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 11:09pm
It takes so much more imo than just doing the Math. Unless your a phychic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 6:51am
What do you mean, "It takes so much more than doing the math, unless you're a psychic?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:25pm
Do you REALLY think they would care? Would they come and start asking questions? There is no "paper" proof that she is getting supported by the bf. He works off the books. He makes more than my dh and I combined. They don't have the time or the money to investigate everyone. If that were true, there would be much less people using wic and welfare.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:26pm
You can read my other response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:28pm

"The able bodied shouldn't even be entitled to benefits."

But they are. I am pretty sure I told you the story of my 22 year old able bodied MALE friend who went for welfare and they asked him NO questions why he could not work. They just immediately told him how much they would give him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:31pm
I'd like to know too. You know how much money you make, how much your budget is and if you want to feed your entire family, you know you can not afford to bring another person into the equation!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:22pm
I laugh when ppl wait to have children until they are finacially stable, No one know's the future. No one knows how much a certain child is going to cost, you can estimate but is quarantees nothing unless you are a phychic and can see the future and exactly what your budget it. A child is not a object that is bought and paid for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:29pm

But many people are more financially stable at 30 than at 25.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:32pm
I agree - sort of- Someone once told me that if you wait until you can afford a child you will never have one. However, I think getting ones house in good financial order is a good idea prior to becoming a parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:39pm

You can't predict with precision, but you can guestimate how able you are to afford a child (or another child) at any given time. You look at where you live: will you feel comfortable using the public schools or will you need money for private school or moving to another district? Do you foresee having that money in 5 years (k)?

You look at your home: can a child or another child fit in it? Or will you need a larger place?

Is your food budget stretched to the limit? Or can you accomodate another mouth to feed with no stress? Is their wiggle room in your budget for other incidentals such as doctor co-payments, clothes, beds and bedding etc. Or are you living so much on the edge that you are in perpetual fear of having the electricity turned off because you had to choose between that and food?

By asking these questions, people can ballpark whether or not they can afford a child- or another child. It's not a dollar figure as such. It's more like a hard look at whether you currrently have wiggle room or whether you are living hand-to-mouth and another child could tip you over the edge.

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