Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 9:13am

Guess that's just a personality difference then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 9:15am
Well, except for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:27pm
Kids DO need "stuff" though. They need cribs and blankets and strollers, etc. As they get older they will not necessarily "need" toys and games but it is nice for them to have some things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:09pm
i don't know. maybe it is a personality thing or maybe it depends on how we define financial stability.....financial stability for us certainly didn't mean having a baby while dh was finishing school but it didn't mean the house,some ideal income first,either. i don't think our journey of cities aplenty and opportunities is a result of having *stuff*.....but if we would have never budged out of some comfort zone or never accepted career decisions that have required moves,i would have probably looked at it as *stuff* that got in the way.


Edited 1/29/2007 1:11 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 3:46pm

I have not read this thread, so I'm not trying to make a larger point than this, but kids do not need stuff. Babies do not need cribs or strollers or specialty items.

I have three kids (oldest is almost 10, youngest is 4). None ever used a crib. Also, we owned a stroller because it was a gift, but it wasn't used. You don't need any of that stuff. Now a lot of people do own things like that, and they do use them, but none of that baby stuff is a necessity, beyond the same basic clothing and shelter that any human needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:03pm

Those items can be found cheaply, for free, or not at all.


Crib?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:06pm

We didn't wait for the house either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 5:02pm

define afford.......if we couldn't *afford* our sah arrangement,i don't know that we would have ever had kids.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 5:30pm
that is so sad......think of all the wonderful expereinces you would have missed based on something that is so irrelevant. job status just never entered the picture when i wanted to have and knew it was time to have kids. i cant imagine my life without my kids but i can imagine my life with the job and kids or without a job and kids
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 8:20pm

Forgive me Jennie, but that makes no sense to me. How is a personal choice irrelevant?

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