Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:01pm
Well maybe thrift stores are different in different places. We don't have too many here and the ones we do have are geared towards low income families.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:19pm
you are right, i dont think i know anyone who puts their children after cigarettes and bingo - i guess we run in different circles. i do know alot of people who shop at thrift shops, resale shops, rummage sales and on ebay, in fact most people i know do. and yes, i do know some people who cant afford jackets for their kids, but it isnt becuase they are buys cigarettes and playing bingo, which is why i always donate my kids winter coats to the school to give to those kids who show up without one.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:24pm
sales and coupons combined would never get you what i get for half that price by buying it used. what do i care who wore it before, if it is in like new condition, which most childrens clothing is, i wash it and they wear it and it is like new. my kids probably have nothing that isnt gap, childrens place, gymboree, american eagle and A&F and probably 80% of it was bought used and looks just like it came off the rack of the store. last school year my 1st grader was really into gymboree, it was all she would wear, i got her a complete gymboree wardrobe for less than $100, that was for at least 20 complete outfits, no way could that be done with sales and coupons.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:25pm

The thrift store we frequent is in a very poor city less than 15 miles from where we live (an affluent suburb); it is probably "geared" at low income families. But we donate to and frequent said thrift on a pretty regular basis. Name brand, slightly used clothing, is available quire often. We shop periodically, sometimes gold, sometimes nothing - no harm, no foul. Maybe those low income type have better luck?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:12pm

And with the way that Dylan outgrows or wears out his clothes, thrift store is the way to go for school uniforms and jeans. I bought my baby stuff from thrift stores--what wasn't given to me as presents or hand-downs by family and friends. All except the car seats. Those I always buy new. Angela and her friends likes to go thrift store shopping as well.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:27pm

Hogwash. 95% of baby stuff out there is more for the parents than the kid. Babies can sleep just about anywhere...and I know of mothers who've used a pack and play instead of crib. Breastfeeding is free. The only real necessity is a safe car seat, pretty much everything else is negotiable. Moreover, baby stuff is always available at resale shops (Once Upon a Child comes to mind) or garage sales for a fraction of the retail cost. Unless you're the first of your friends to have a child (I was w/DS), you'll often find yourself fighting off hand-me-downs from friends anxious to get rid of their baby stuff. I don't think I'd have to buy a single outfit for this new baby if I didn't want to...I've got that many offers of girl baby clothes coming in. However, as I've waited three years for this baby and have the means to do so, I'm shopping!


Can children be tremendously expensive? Sure. Do they HAVE to be? No.

Christi babies
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:40pm

We have kids when the fertility treatments work and we find ourselves pregnant. I would have never "chosen" a five and a half year age gap between my kids, but I've realized that there are certain things in which my plans differ from those of the big guy upstairs and that sometimes I'm just along for the ride.


However, certainly DH and I waited until we were in a financial position in which

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:43pm
Just jumping in here but I did not find babyhood to be costly but I am finding my children's activities at age 8 &6 to be pretty costly.Between extracurricular activities, sports equipment etc.. things are getting tight around here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:48pm

I had a second-hand crib when I was an infant...I don't seem to be deprived from the experience and hardly had a "deprived" childhood.


My daughter will be sleeping in the crib that her brother slept in...that makes it a hand-me-down crib--I don't think she'll be any worse for the wear for it. Ditto wearing a few outfits that were previously worn by her cousin or a friend--I don't think that's doing without.

Christi babies
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:54pm

Well said. Tonight DH commented to me, "So we don't have anything to give DS for his bday tomorrow?" And said, "Sweetie...between the bed and the party, we dropped a grand this weekend on his bday. Have you seen his toy room? He doesn't need another toy. He doesn't want another toy. He doesn't even want to go out to eat--he just wants to have hot dogs at home w/grandpa and his best friend."


BTW--we needed to buy the bed b/c his furniture needed to go into the nursery for the new baby. I figured we'd kill two birds w/one stone and make that the bday present. DS was thrilled. He has a ridiculous amount of toys but what he loves most is when I read to him, or when we cook together.


The stuff is all superfluous.


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