Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:27pm
I have a feeling that a lot of people that would be considered *needy* by many people's standards don't shop at thrift stores because they are too proud to shop there. If people who didn't need to shop at thrift stores stopped shopping there, I have a feeling there would be a lot less profit to donate to the needy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:37pm

This isn't in response to your post, but I couldn't find the post I wanted to respond to.

Anyway, I wonder if the difference in opinion about thrift store clothes has to do with the areas people live in. If you live in a more affluent area, I bet there are much nicer clothes at thrift stores than if you live in a less affluent area.

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 6:19am
Heh. Shows what I know about golf ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 6:31am
Those items at the outlet languished SOMEWHERE for a good long while. Otherwise they wouldn't be at the outlet, would they?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 6:53am

Eh, not really. I have lived in NE DC and shopped in thrift stores there and now I live in a much much much more affluent community and shop in thrift stores here. Mostly I see normal people shopping and trying to save money at the same time. And actually, there were better clothes in the thrift stores in the less affluent neighborhoods.

Now one thing it true, it is virtually always women who are shopping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 7:54am

This is not always true. Our Gap outlet sells shirts from the previous summer line. I just found several shirts that Gap sold last summer for 15.00 each and only paid 6.00 each.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:02am

Again, we have opposite experiences. I have found lower income/working class neighborhoods to be full of wonderful hard working people trying to get through to the next month. I have had neighbors willing to bend over backwards to help me- despite the fact the I was a newcomer and of a different background. People know each other. People help each other. In every place I have lived, the good people are vastly more plentiful than the "bad" people. Is it a perfect place, absolutely not, but there are many aspects that I wish we had in my current neighborhood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:05am

I'm sorry you wasted your time since none of that addresses anything in my post. For some reason, you felt the need to go on and on about a topic wholly irrelevant to my post. I can't imagine why the need to be so defensive. And can I ask: Are you under the impression you are the only one who does volunteer work for the poor?

No, millionaires are not shopping at thrift stores. I know, I know, everyone here on this board is the millionaire next door. Everyone here also has an inheritance just waiting for them when their relatives die. Everyone here does not need a paycheck but is actually a CTWOHM. lol!

But the fact is millionaires have sufficient resources that they don't have to take clothes donated for the needy and destitute. They are frugal but not to the point of wresting clothes from the hands of the poor. Obviously many MND have been poor once upon a time. But they understand and value the luxury they've earned to afford new clothes even if it's last year's line at an outlet store with a coupon and a sale.

I fully admit that people who simply cannot afford new clothes even with coupon, a sale and an outlet store do indeed shop in thrift stores. That has been made only too clear in this discussion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:06am
Do you have a link for that? I never heard this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:12am

New, clean clothes are essential for my kids. I wish all kids had new clothes since their immune system is so low, lots of things - just look at DNA cases - survive even the hottest setting on a machine. But I understand the poorest of the poor benefit from slightly used clothes in thrift shops.

I find it striking that people are willing to shop for used, threadbare clothes at a thrift store for their kids but not themselves. I wonder when it became okay to treat children differently.

I would never put something on my child that I would not be willing to wear myself - if the size were sufficient! This attitude toward children is something new to me. It saddens me.




Edited 1/31/2007 9:43 am ET by twsettrs

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