Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:28am

i don't follow trends which is what i think you find at most first hand retail stores......i don't shop much but when i do,it's for unique,one of kind and classic styles for myself and my kids. and those pieces are found a lot in places like consignment and sometimes,ebay. i'm thinking oilily brands and new in box elefantan for a fraction of the cost.....and the thrift stores are just that,thrift items purposely sold low for the needy. there's a difference.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:36am

That's a worthwhile organization. Before we donate big ticket items, we research charities and things like the percentage of donations they spend helping the poor versus helping themselves in the form of salaries, etc. We dismiss charities who keep most of the money for themselves.

Years ago I donated some clothes to an organization we helped out at after they mentioned the poor and destitute were very much in need of clothes. Well, I was very shocked to see one of the women employed by the not-for-profit (who I knew was definitely not poor) waltzing through the grocery store donning my lovely (but out of style) cashmere sweater! I later found out she also worked in the thrift store run by the non-profit! Since then, I've been able to hand my clothes directly to the poor and destitute I meet through my volunteer work. Live and learn.

I hope she paid for it, but I doubt it. Volunteers at these thrift shops have a reputation of picking through the goods when they first arrive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:46am

Your attitude is the one that is perplexing. I shop for my DH, myself and our children at thift stores - Two of the articles of clothing I am now wearing are from the thift: a gap fleese sweatshirt and nike gortex sweatpants. Both looked almost new when I bought them and many washings later, they still look fine for workout clothes. My daughter grew 4 inches this year - she wore her jeans for less than 3 months before they became floods. My sister-in-law recently bought her $90 jeans for her 12th birthday. They are really, really nice, but in a couple of months, some lucky thift shop shopper is going to get a really nice pair of gently used jeans. None of the clothing we buy at the thifts are threadbare, I do know the difference when I shop between quality and trash (Unless it is your contention that us thift store shoppers lose IQ points when we walk in the door.)

We don't buy all our clothing at the thift; I happen to be quite picky about underwear I buy, and my dh prefers egyptian cotton dress shirts. Almost all our children's play clothes are bought at the thift store, supplemented with all the tshirts and sweatsheats they get with team sports participation. I'd hazard a guess that you would not be able to tell that my children's clothing was from a thift, but if you asked they'd volunteer the information; they're not ashamed of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:47am
I don't know because all the styles are still in and are very up to date. I never found anything I would say was outdated and ugly. When Bermuda shorts came out last year, they had them right away. Alot of the things are classic, long-sleeve shirts, khakis, peacoats, etc. which never go out of style.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:50am
LOLOLOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:52am
cashmere has always looked sort of cheap,imo..my sister has a cashmere sweater and it wasn't until she volunteered it's identity that i even knew what it was. lol...but about volunteers taking mdse before it even hits the floor,i wouldn't know. i can't imagine taking time out of our days to volunteer over there only to create piles for ourselves. how would that look at school,too? "oh,mom signed up to be part of the committee that helps the county shelter but takes lots of the nice stuff for herself and us,too..." barf.


Edited 1/31/2007 9:53 am ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:52am
We have a variety of people in my neighborhood too. Many are parents of kids I went to school with who are financially comfortable at their stage of life. Many are families just starting out or newly married couples. I would say the majority of my neighborhood is middle class. There are some high class (mostly older people) and some young families. There are a hand-ful of lower-class but not that many because the price of houses and taxes do not make it possible for them to own a home in my neighborhood. There are neighborhoods in other towns that are mostly lower-class because the houses are cheaper and the schools are not as good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:56am

Who said anything about being out of style? I said, if they're at the outlet, it's because they didn't sell elsewhere--hence, they've been around who knows where and tried on by who know how many unwashed masses.

Your argument simply doesn't hold any water for anyone with access to soap and a washing machine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:56am
Thank you. It kills me to see a young child (usually boys because girls can get away with it) with pants that are too short for them. How do they not realize what they look like. Clothes that do not fit can not possible be comfortable. You know as an adult when you gain some weight and clothes are too tight that you feel horrible all day. Why subject your children to that. I noticed yesterday that my son's shirt was getting too short on the sleeves. I told him this was the last time he was going to wear it. I am washing it now and it will go into the bags for Big Brother. Someone who really needs it can benefit from it. It still looks brand new (Gap Outlet, mind you).
Maybe I am more of a clothes "horse" than other people but one of my parents main priorities in life when we were kids was to make sure we looked our best all the time. My parents did not have tons of money. My mom was a sahm in the 70's and sometimes made clothes for us but we never went without and did not wear anything that did not fit. My mom still tells me how she would get compliments from people how well we looked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:58am

Really? I find all brands of clothing from Walmart, Target, Lends end, LL Bean, gap, old navy, Talbots, Children's Place, etc. in the thifts in our area. Some quality items are in very good condition. Some people sell the items on eBay, others can't be bothered with that hassle and donate items to the thifts. I personally don't mind sorting through the dreck to find quality items.

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