Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:11am

I have seen so many (well, not really many, a few maybe) families that have impecably dressed children, but they're still neglected and abused. I think judging by outward appearance is rather pointless.

I and my family lean more to comfort than fashion, so I'll accept our lowclass designation and go spend our millions elsewhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:12am
Thanks and yes I am one of the people who are not overly crazy about the environment. I am concerned as the next person but don't worry about it day and night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:13am

Exactly.

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:15am
And that is your choice. I am very clothes driven and have always been. My parents were not into "fashion" as much as my sister and I are but they always had decent clothes and never let us dress in rags. We were "young ladies" as they say and they wanted us to be dressed nicely all the time. They only bought clothes at certain times of the year too as they didn't have much money but dressing neatly and nicely was always a priority in their house as eating a decent meal and having a good roof over our heads. My parents never smoked, drank (dad-beer here and there), gambled. WE were their first concern and still are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:17am

In your post you said "who doesn't if you work and have a boss-lol!" I wasn't doubting that your boss is a millionare, just challenging your assumption that all "bosses" are millionares. And while I don't know how much my boss has in savings and/or investments, I do know her and her husband's salaries. Based on that and their ages, I seriously doubt she is a millionare.

Jessica




Edited 1/31/2007 11:19 am ET by geschichtsgal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:20am

You saw my dd! But oddly enough, her too-small shirt is not evidence that she's low priority in my life. It's evidence that I've decided to pick my battles and even though this beloved shirt that she wants to wear all the time is showing about an inch too much wrist, I haven't taken it away from her. But I have told her that it's time to say goodbye to it when the seasons change. She accepts that and is wearing it as much as she can before I put my foot down and say "it has to go". And she's not unique. It's pretty common for kids to latch onto adored clothes that must be wrenched from their hands. Parents eventually do wrench them away, but do often allow a couple months of wear before saying that the clothes are just not viable anymore and MUST be given up.

And on the flip side, you've sometimes seen her in too big clothes too (although they do ultimately get to a point where they fit). DD has an uncle who wants to buy her nice clothes but is deathly afraid of buying something too small. So I told him to not worry about that and just buy a little too big. "She won't get any smaller, but she is guarenteed to grow into what you buy her" I told him. She loves her uncle and can't bear to wait the 6 months until the item will be a perfect fit. Like a typical kid, she wants to wear it RIGHT NOW. Which I allow. Of course by the time it goes through the complete cycle of too big/just right/too small, it's too worn out for any other kid so I don't donate it. I donate the clothes of hers that for whatever reason, she absolutely hated and wore grudgeingly only a couple times before shunning them completely for the beloved (and eventually visibly too small) clothes. So off to donation they go. Where they are currently being worn by some other kid whose mother took a chance that my house is not so toxic that any DNA left on the clothes could be washed off ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:21am

I buy tons of shirts for dh at the thrift store. His office is pretty casual, and he wears a golf/polo type shirt to work every day. I've found tons of these with the tags still on - most of them have company names or logos on them and were likely promotional freebies or gold tournament prizes that people didn't want, LOL. Dh likes them just fine.

I certainly don't need to buy "used, threadbare" clothes at the thrift store. There are plenty of good quality, like new items there. I hope you can view this picture of my kids taken on the first day of school http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v47/carriem25/?action=view&current=Driveway.jpg . All of the kid's clothes in the picture were from the thrift store - even dd's shoes (which had obviously never been worn). They look fine to me - certainly no one was pointing and laughing at those poor, shabby kids who didn't buy clothes at the Gap.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:24am

very true they call that hoarding, although this perticular "good old boy" loves to rebuild tractor engines and he goes all over the country doing it and spends a lot of money this is how he became a millionare. He dotes over his grandkids, he is not cheap.

His dd is gourgeious and married to one of the bulders in town and he just helped them open a new strip mall.

He is in no way keeping his money for himself.

I love to antique, i love vintage, you would be surprised what expensive things you can actually find, the pink depression glass i find is very expensive. I do not buy underwear or socks. I find a lot of skorts by gap and annn taylor which i love the fit on me and white shirt's, but do not shop clothes in thrift shops often. TO be honest though, i end up doing better price wise at the actual stores major sales than the thrift shop.

Kid's consignement shop's the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:25am
They're called superbugs because they can't be killed by the less-toxic antibiotics that doctors want to use. However, things that would kill a person (and a superbug) are perfectly ok to use on clothes. There is nothing on this earth that can live through bleach- superbugs included.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:27am
I do not really like cashmere either.

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