Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:53am
Indeed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:54am

No, what I am saying is if "I" have met all types of people through my young life, they are out there. Some people are naive and think that all parents are doing their best for their children and some are not. I am just telling you of the experiences I have had. I know many great parents who only think of their children, parents who think of children and themselves and parents who only think of themselves. It does NOT matter what color you are, there are many different kinds of people in the world and just because this is my experience, it can not be just mine. Only myself knows bad parents who think of themselves first? I would find that unbelievable.

I agree alot of people are close to being the "working poor". I don't "fly by the seat of my pants" as many people do, buying homes out of their reach, having kids without planning them, etc. I know what needs to be done and we have always been able to pay our bills even if my dh got a part time job to do so. He has never had a problem with that. He also has gotten jobs within a week after being layed off at other jobs. We both are older and have experience and live in an area that has a wide area of employment. I can't be thinking that I will lose my job every second. All I can do is prepare for that and continue with life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:54am

I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:54am

My parents had a beer or 2 when socializing with their friends, they smoked when I was young (and quit when they realized the dangers), gambled at the local casinos when they retired (though never when we were young). We had appropriate clothing for all times, school uniforms, church attire, and play clothes, none rags to my recollection. We too came first in our family, I think to the detriment of their relationship. My father worked 3 jobs while mom SAH to keep us in private schools and made sure our college education was fully funded. They were not rich, but we really were not aware of that fact, we wanted for nothing, but dad was never home in my early years. When my mom when to work when I was 10, I was able to finally have a relationship with my father. My mother and father rebuilt their relationship, too. Much healthier all around.

I refuse to have a child-centered family. Our childen are the first among equals in our family. But DH and I have needs too.

We can afford to clothe our children in expensive attire, we can give them the latest games and gadgets, but we choose not to. Outward appearance of affluence does not reflect the character within. My children are humble and compassionate; they would never judge others by appearances alone. They are well-groomed, healthy, and happy in their thift store attire. They would much rather spend their money on books, music, and movies than clothing.

Obviously we have different priorities and I would never judge yours, but I think you have made unsubstantiated assumptions about us non-bingo playing, non-smoking, non-alcohol drinking, and not poor thift shoppers. We may still love our kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:56am

Target sells cashmere for $30, doesn't mean it's good cashmere. I hadn't realized it was a trend though...I've been wearing it for a decade.

Christi babies
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:56am
Yes, when parents are so obviously buying used clothes at thrift shops for their kids but not for themselves, they are so treating their kids as second best. It's a real shame.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:57am
Well I love the outlets and have never seen a difference between the clothes. The sweatshirts are exactly the same because I have bought one in the regular store and one in the outlet and there was no difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:57am

Some fabrics are pretreated for shrinkage as thread before they are woven/knitted in the mill. And some shrinkage is built in to the patterns before cutting. It all depends on the manufacturers. I do know that the fabric can be in in bolts (more likely in rolls and not folded) in excess of 100 yards. Not very practical to prewash before cutting. In the past, clothing didn't shrink much because clothes were washed by hand and aired to dry. It's the dryer more than the washing machine which shrinks, pills, and wears out clothing. Although a front loading washing machine without an agitator won't disstress fibers as much as a top loading machine with an agitator. That's one of the reasons why manufactures say to dryclean. Another reason is liability and litagation.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:57am
Having unpacked clothing at Wal-Mart and put them out for sale I can tell you that people have NO CLUE where there clothing has come from. I saw some of the weirdest bugs crawling out of those boxes...and before anyone goes there most of the lower priced retail stores have clothing manufactured in the same countries and the same factories as Wal-Mart. Just check the labels. Not to mention the number of clothing I saw hit the floor before it made its way to the rack. When you think of the number of people who walk those aisles with who knows what on their shoes...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:00pm
How is my life experience limited when I have met many types of people from rich to poor from black to white, etc. I am not someone who is kept up in my house all day and never gets out. I have worked at a few jobs in the past 17 years, I have traveled and met all different type of people. My dh's family and friends are EXTREMELY different than my own and my friends. I am not a sheltered person.

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