Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:34pm
I guess you don't know anyone who worked in Silicon Valley? Techies are among the worst-dressed highly paid employees. Look at Bill Gates - he always looks rumpled like a nerdy Columbo, though Warren Buffet is usually nicely attired.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:35pm

Unless you know these *lots of parents* intimately enough to be privy to their financial situation and lifestyle, you are making a huge judgement on people you dont even know. And define *lots of parents* in relation to how many people actually shop at the thrift stores you know of. Realistically, you might actually *know* 10% of the clientele. How does that translate into feeling confident about judging people's reasons for shopping there, as well as their parenting skills?

Shopping at thrift stores has NOTHING to do with whether or not one is a bad parent. No matter WHERE you live or what your little corner of the world has shown you.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:37pm
Yeah I know, its depressing isnt it?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:38pm
Probably has something to do with the cooties on it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:39pm

Totally agree. And I think that the people who are most *afraid* of looking *poor* are the ones out there buying up the expensive suits and such. The ones who have a strong sense of self and are secure in themselves dont give a hoot. They dont have to prove anything.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:40pm

Neither my husband nor I have any aversion to wearing used clothing. I hardly ever buy anything new, personally. Maybe one or two outfits a year. And we tend to keep our clothes for decades.

My kids...well, the older one got three new pairs of dress pants -- Izods -- on sale at Penney's right before Christmas. They have been worn a total of I dunno, twice each? Three times each? He came in this morning and they were an inch too short and too tight at the waist. We're going to pass them down to friends who also have a skinny kid....nobody around here minds hand-me-downs and used clothing in good condition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:42pm
There are probably a few others but it is obviously an elite group. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:42pm

So am I. Which is why I shop at thrift stores. Some of the most fashionable people I know pick up a lot of their wardrobe secondhand. Vintage is always in.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:44pm
They are all different. New clothes have the tag "stamped" in them now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 12:45pm
Yes, I know them too. I know one specific one that my dad worked with who saved all his money, drove old cars and never bought anything new. I DO know people from every side. I am not as sheltered as many of these people on the board think I am.

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