Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:26pm

And your *many many* people is probably about .01% (if that) of the US population. Yet you are judging a whole group (actually a huge percentage of our country) by this extremely small number of people.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:26pm
Yes. I am sure about them both. My parents were going to buy a Lexus many years ago until they found out Toyota made them. They would have been able to afford one but where they live, they also felt weird because there is barely anyone who owns expensive cars. But of course their first reason was because of the Toyota company making them.
Old Navy is the same way. They are owned by Gap but their quality is no where near as good as the Gap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:27pm

Guess I'm just backwards. I would never have shopped in a thrift when I was a poor college student, name brand only at that time; I always purchased new cars with significant loans when young and single. Now, I drive a used car that we paid with cash, our other vehicle is 4 years old and paid off; we plan to keep it until it becomes unreliable.

So we nolonger do any new cars (or maybe every 6 years or so), we do invest in good quality work attire for both my DH and myself. But since I WAH all except 3 weeks of the year, I buy on average one work outfit a year, DH has 5 quality suits and he's hasn't bought a new one in several years. The rest of our outer wardrobe: jeans, sweats, khakis, T-shirts, is usually from the thrift. So I prefer to look at that as growing in maturity and spending wisely, to your moving up and displaying the ever-growing affluence.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:27pm
there's nothing to defend,i agree. just debate.....i don't feel guilty about what i buy or where i buy it. i would if i shopped thrift,though. :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:27pm
Good point. Used clothes that have gone through a washer and dryer are considerably cleaner than the grocery store carts- among other things. They won't be sterile since they'll have trace bits from whoever handles them between washing and selling- but that's true of new clothes too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:29pm
I agree.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:30pm
Not my in-laws, my parents. They could afford a Lexus but since Toyota makes it, why should they pay double the price.
I would not buy clothes at a garage sale or thrift shop unless they had tags on them. I have bought jeans at the Gap Outlet for $10 so I didn't not spend much more than the person buying used items at a garage sale.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:31pm
i don't feel any differently about my land rover..even though,ford owns them,now.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:32pm
I never said I knew everyone but the point is that I don't just know one type of person. I also keep up with the world so I know what is going on. I am not a sheltered person who doesn't read the paper, watch the news or get out there and meet people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:35pm

That's your opinion. But she is entitled to report her observations of her neighborhood and area. I would say the same exact about the town in which a relative I know lives. Thankfully, she lives in a gated community in that town.

I can affirmatively say without a doubt that the African-Americans where I live are ALL very well-off financially. That is my observation, and my community. That's the truth. If you live where Hazeleyes does, then maybe you can say differently. But it's a sad fact of life that many parents in certain communities share the common thread of not having enough money and no longer giving a damn. Do you deny this? If so, I'd like to know what newspapers you read.

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