Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:35pm
I was brought up differently. My parents owned very little clothes when we were growing up, mostly because they could not afford much and spent all their clothes money on us. My parents shared the closet I use for myself and I have NO room! My mom did not work and did not need clothes all the time. Once we got older and were out of the house, they had more money to spend and now my mom always is buying something for herself. Just because they had more money as they got older, it did not mean that was the time to be frugal. The time was when their children were younger and they were saving for their future. They moved up through the years and now my mom can buy whatever she wants, whenever because they did without for so many years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:37pm

Why? Its already been explained to you repeatedly how thrift shops work. If only the needy shopped there, there would be little or no profit for the programs these thrift shops support. They count on a certain percentage of higher end clients.

What about garage sales? Would those make you feel guilty too? If so why? Or ebay? You realize a lot of people buy things via secondhand stores and re-sell them on ebay-you might be inadvertantly getting a thrift store item and not even know it.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:38pm
Really? I have family that works for Land Rover. I never knew that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:39pm
Thanks. That is exactly what I have been trying to say.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:40pm

and you read in the news that bad parents shop at thrift stores? Funny I've never come across those news items myself.

Yet you seemed painfully unaware in another post about how much clothing production costs in terms of resources and energy....interesting.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:43pm

I love looking at the new kids' (and women's ) catalogues from the mail! I wouldn't doubt I spend (okay, "waste") more time than many moms, and yes it's a vice! But a few reviews of the catalogues and it's just so clear to me what is in this year and what's not - with specific brand names only. (I wouldn't know Old Navy, for instance.) That's how the manufacturers toy with us - they know I love clothes and want to dress the kids in this season's fun things.

(And I do think I can spot thrift store clothes because of my familiarity with the new clothes, but I won't get into that whole debate!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:44pm
It doesn't really matter whether you know it or not. You can judge from the condition of the fabric if it looks like it has been worn repeatedly with no washing. You really CAN tell. You don't even have to be a fabric professional like sewchris (although she will know the names for types of wear and will know what types of cloth are most likely to absorb what). Your eyes and hands really are a decent barometer of what a piece of clothing has been through. If it honestly was worn repeatedly by a person who lived in a filthy home and didn't wash it even after repeated wearings, do you really think that will leave no evidence on the clothes? Can't you tell when your OWN clothes need washing? If you can tell the condition of your own clothes, why can't you trust your senses to also tell you the condition of used clothes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:47pm

Do you think that is why people shop at thrift shops? No, they do it because they can not afford to shop anyplace else. You can NOT tell me the majority of people are there because they CAN afford the mall and just want to be there. I just can't see that.

I think by keeping up with the world, you see the good and bad and find out what is out there, outside of your little world. A co-worker will not read the paper or watch the news because there is so much bad in the world. That is not good. You need to know what is going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:48pm

Yes but the debate is, are they the only ones who shop at thrift stores? Apparently so, according to Hazeleyes.

And its certainly not just the obvious poor who are in that position-many people who *look* like a million bucks (as do their kids) are so stretched financially they are declaring bankruptcy right and left. If *you* dont know that, I'm wondering what papers you yourself might be reading...

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:49pm
I am with you. I also like my kids to keep up with the fashions and I have actually bought myself a pair of camoflauge capris last year because I just loved them. I do know what is basically in and out and while some things I can not wear anymore (those 80's fashions) because I have had kids and stopped doing WW-lol!! I knew right away almost 20 years ago when I saw the sweatshirt of my dh's cousin that it was just not in.

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