Why should I support someone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Why should I support someone else?
4426
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:24pm

Let me start by saying that I"m new here so this may have already been discussed, but this has come up in my office several times and I wanted to get some other views of this.

I do payroll for a rather small company so I know most of the workers and their wives (most of the workers are men due to the nature of our business). There are two in particular who's wives SAH. These two are up to their eyeballs in debt. I have bill collectors constantly calling for them. That part is really their business, it is annoying but I enjoy being rude back to the bill collectors, lol.

The part that bothers me is that both wives have been in the office wanting copies of X amount of check stubs so that they can go and get public assistance (I know because they told me that is what it is for)! Why should my tax money go so that these women can SAH? I know that not all families that one parent stays at home are like this, but I know lots that are. Heck, growing up we were always broke because my mother refused to work, but we weren't on any public assistance.

So, why should I pay for a woman to SAH? Why can't she go and get a job to support her family just like anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 6:26pm
my kids are very active and their summer clothes can rarely be donated because they are out in the yard and woods so much but their winter clothes are under coats and snowpants most of the time they are out playing so those clothes are usually donated. what i have found is with higher quality clothes, even when bought at thrift stores, stains tend to come right out.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 7:09pm

I guess to me, *moving up* in life has more to do with learning and growing as a person as opposed to *things*.

And dont get me wrong, I like nice things just as much as the next person. But I certainly am not going to say I'm *too good* for secondhand. Using a decent amount of secondhand items is part of walking gently on this earth-as opposed to trodding on it and continuing to destroy its resources.

And really, this discussion has taken place here before, but never owning a used car isnt really a smart financial move overall.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:06pm
My parents never worried about the depriation. They wanted reliable cars that they did not have to worry about having major problems with. They usually kept their cars for 10 years and only in the past 8 or so years did they get new cars every 3-4 years as they were able to afford it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:10pm
Not bigger and better but the idea that you should work yourself up to being financially stable and be able to buy whatever you want, whenever you want. My parents struggled like all young parents to be able to pay all the bills AND save at the same time. They never went "backwards" in life. They always moved ahead. Their point was you don't go and buy a home and then sell it to rent. You don't go and buy a brand new car and get rid of it for a clunker. The more money you make, the more you save and the more flexibility you have to spend it the way you want.
I worry about my kids affording homes and such too but I don't let it overwhelm me as I know everything always works out. If we didn't buy our house when we did, we wouldn't even be able to afford some of the rents out there today. Things just happen at the right times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:13pm
Can I ask why? By getting a brand new car and keeping it over the loan period, you are getting your money's worth. AND you won't have to worry about putting the money into fixing the car all the time. Once the car repairs get as much as the car is worth, you sell it and get another one. My parents would do this every 10 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:15pm
I can't believe that your 8 yr. old is not into fashion. My daughter who is not a total girly girl is always into the lipglosses and nail polish and shoes, etc. When your daughter is around other girls they are all like this. They go to parties at the girl stores and wear the makeup and hair and love having fun. While my daughter doesn't match her clothes well somedays-lol!! she still will not wear some things I pick out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:17pm
curious when your 16 year old started getting fashion savvy,jlkuhnke....i only ask because none of my kids are there yet. not that it bothers me,but i really can't remember when i started going through that rite of passage per se,either. (i'm thinking somewhere between brooke sheilds with calvin klein on or guess?)....my kids do love to explore on ebay,too. ellie browses for horse stuff on there,all the time. and the most unique stuff,like an oilily shirt with horse print all over it,is what she finds.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:17pm
That stinks. I am lucky that my daughter grows up and not out so she is able to wear things for a few seasons. I won't pay full price for anything for the kids because they do go right through them in one season. I usually shop in target for their play clothes for the summer and buy some nice things for the days out at the outlets so they look a little neat-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:21pm
I have to disagree with the used car thing. I see if you lease, like I have done and probably won't do again, but buying a car every 10 years is not wasting money. Putting tons of money into a car because it keeps breaking down is a waste of money. My parents always took car of their cars and they lasted them a long time. They did not have the money to throw around on things. As they had more money to themselves, they paid off their cars sooner being able to buy their cars in less years. My dh has had his share of used cars and we would not do it again. He bought his car now "used" but just off a 2 year lease so it was not too used. We would NEVER buy from a used car place. We would rather go to the dealer and see what they have as it is warranted for a couple of years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:26pm

my 9 1/2 and 7 1/2 girls aren't into fashion but do like the girly stuff like lip gloss and nail polish.........when i think of fashion,i think of that seventeen magazine look. clothes.




Edited 1/31/2007 8:30 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

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