Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:29pm
I agree. I would do that day over in a second. We had a ball and everyone told us for years after how much fun they had.
The planning, never again-lol!! Mostly because of my mil though. My parents were fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:29pm

<<Asking a question of how someone finds out how much a wedding costs is pretty factual. >>


Nope, didn't say that either.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:31pm

<< Most of the people I know are ecstatic to get married and their wedding days have been described as one of the best and memorable days of their lives. >>


Outside the birth of the my children, that is pretty much how I would describe my wedding day, but I didn't do any of what hazel has described, either.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:32pm

<Well if staying at home isn't all about the kids then who is it for.>


You.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:33pm

<<I have no clue how much everyone else gave. I only know I much I gave. >>


So, not everyone may give what covers their "plate"?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:36pm

The only people who put nothing in my envelopes were from my dh's family (mother, sister and brother). I got one $50 check that bounced.
There is no excuse when you are given 2 years notice.

I said before I have NO clue how much other people get. Obviously they are getting around the plate price as that is how everyone gauges their gift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:36pm
I'm kinda sorta in the south (maybe...depends on who you ask!LOL) so maybe our traditions are similar to those where your mom is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:37pm
Possibly. She is in GA. The weddings she has gone to are 1 hour receptions with punch and horsdevores.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:39pm

<

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:41pm
you sah because it is what you want to do. no one is forcing you to, not even your kids. our family does not revolve around our kids, everyone in our family is of equal importance. as a sahm i do not sah for my kids, i sah for myself and my family. if it didnt work for the entire family it wouldnt work for the kids and we wouldnt do it. i am curious how your children would become less important to you if you decided to complete your education of get a job

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