Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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"never said that I knew how much other people made at their wedding"
don't you see though that this wording of "made" at their wedding reduces what shoudl be a thoughtful act of gift giving and a sharing of the happiness of friends to some kind of profit making enterprise? What happened to phrases "what other couples were fortuante enough to RECEIVE at their wedding"
Yes. We. Did.
I personally don't like to have birthday parties because I know the people are expected to give a gift. We had a housewarming party and I had NO clue that I would be getting gifts. I just wanted people to come over and eat, drink and have a good time seeing our new home. I was sooooo embarassed to get gifts, money and gc's.
Yes. We. Did.
I think the peopl who HEAR it probably think twice. That would reall upset me if I had given a gift to a couple to hear them talk about how much they "made" at their wedding.
again...our country's obessions with materialism and money rears its ugly head.
Yes. We. Did.
isn't it all about making it *easier* (not, mind you, necessarily *possible*) for you organize your life in a way that suits you and the other members of your family? the demands of raising children often factor into the sah decision, but the sah/woh decision isn't for-my-kids/despite-my-kids, and more often than not, woh is the for-my-kids option. and plenty of people find good (and even not-so-good) reasons to sah even if they don't have kids, or if their kids are grown; kids aren't the only reason to do so.
my kids are more important to me than continuing my education or doing work that i love, but i am fortunate and creative enough to not have to make any either/or choices in these regard. people can both value their children and support them financially; all sah means is that you couldn't or didn't want to and probably don't have any compelling need to hold down a job at this point in your life--not that you are some sort of exceptionally dedicated parent.
<<I never said that I knew how much other people made at their wedding.>>
I didn't say that.
PumpkinAngel
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