Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:34pm
Then how about we settle for "sometimes", or even "once in a while" after you throw in the non-travel expenses. Even if that makes the post in question sort of meaningless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:36pm

"When you make out your guest list, it's usually safe to assume anyone on that list would be happpy to spend the day that way, but it's not always safe to assume they'd be happy to spend the dough involved. And sometimes it's safe to assume they wouldn't be able to at all. But I guess if the b & g are to have it all their way, then a thing like that wouldn't matter, not even if close relatives and friends were involved. And I guess most people who do destination weddings are happy to cover travel and expenses for all guests..."

It's the bride and groom's day. Not anyone else, not their parents, grandparents, neighbors. Their day. How they choose to celebrate it or not or how much they spend or not, is totally up to them. Because *you* (general you) can't afford to attend the destination wedding or can't afford a dress for the wedding, doesn't mean that the bride and groom should alter their celebration. If *you* (general you), respond no. I think it's kind of silly that a guest would dictate how a bride and groom should celebrate their day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:38pm

I don't know, I'm just trying hard to understand what a Save the Date card might legitimately and validly be for... and since I haven't read anything convincing, I have to use my imagination.

Trouble is, when I think about what a Save the Date card might be all about, it occurs to me that it's something that might be inconsiderate to an invitee, depending on their circumstances. But I guess even if by some stretch of the imagination that were true, it wouldn't matter at all, since a wedding is supposed to be all about making a b & g happy, even if some of their invitees aren't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:39pm
Have we been watching too much Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous? Not everyone gets married at post resorts. some do sort of middle of the road. Anyone with a job and a bit in their savings account could afford to go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:39pm
Oh, trust me, there's no end to the fripperies a happy couple can come up with for weddings in the name of rampant consumerism and excess. The wedding industry is partly to blame for the way they market these "traditions" that never were.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:40pm

I can, without a doubt, state that I have never heard someone say that!! YUCK!!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:40pm

"But I guess even if by some stretch of the imagination that were true, it wouldn't matter at all, since a wedding is supposed to be all about making a b & g happy, even if some of their invitees aren't."

Should a bridal couple call each and every guest and give the details to each and every guest to make sure that they are happy with everything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:41pm
Of course it's out of hand, and it's not entirely the fault of these befuddled young brides or their grooms. Look no further than the wedding industry, which has mushroomed in recent years in response to celebrity mania and consumerism run amok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:42pm
Seems like you have no confidence in these "befuddled" young bride and grooms. How about a 50 year old that acts like this on her wedding day? What's her excuse?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:42pm
If that were true, half these posts could easily be deleted.

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