Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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Since it's "their day", and it's "all about them", I doubt they'd want to do that. And if they do things right, they can make sure in advance that half the guests won't be able to attend anyhow.
yes, for MANY the Save-the-Date is the equivalent of "shouting it from the rooftops". My dh and I were deliriously happy to have found each other and ecstatic to be taking the next step. We absolutely wanted to share it with everyone we knew.
I've never seen a personalized aisle runner. I got married in an ivory cocktail dress with black lace trim and black sparkly slingbacks....Our kids were our "attendants". No cake smashing, no garter, no aisle runner, no rice throwing -- Just a beautifully planned and executed ceremony and reception -- which many of the guests anticipated for a few extra months, LOL!
carole
"Just a beautifully planned and executed ceremony and reception -- which many of the guests anticipated for a few extra months, LOL!"
Are you sure they anticipated it or did they throw a shoe at the mailman for daring to bring that announcement? LOL.
"Sorry, but a lot of the various "new wedding customs" under discussion here can only have originated in the mind of a very savvy entrepreneur in the wedding industry or in the mind of a somewhat befuddled young bride."
well, they wouldn't have been originated if people weren't falling for them. They certainly have the right to do it.
"Not sure how you know how I "acted" on my wedding day, but one thing I can tell you for sure is that it really wasn't all about me."
Maybe that explains alot.
The problem with sending out invitations 3-4 months ahead is RSVPs. There is generally an expectation of an RSVP within a reasonable amount of time. Not so with a "save the date" card. It allows a person to think about plans far in the future while not making any actual RSVP commitments until much later. Since there is no expectation of an RSVP until the actual invite arrives, "save the date" cards would make it easier to plan without requiring committment. For instance, my job requires people to plan their vacations about 3-4 months in advance. I've only gotten "save the date" by mouth, not mail ("we picked a date!!"). But any wedding for which I would NOT make effort to save the date is also a wedding I probably wouldn't get invited to because that means I'm not enough a part of their lives to invite.
In other words, if I'm on somebody's invite list, that means they mean enough to me that I'd actually WANT to save the date if I possibly could. But the lack of RSVP means that if my brother decides to get married (I would be told within minutes of a date being set), I haven't made any actual RSVP commitment. This sort of coincidence of scheduling hasn't happened (although it theoretically could), and the wedding of family is the only thing that could get me to NOT save the date.
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