Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:34pm
BUT...you were all from out-of-state.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:35pm
ITA, to blame it on young brides and grooms is not looking at the whole picture. There are alot of older couples getting married nowadays, so what can they blame it on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:52pm

Am I mistaking you for another poster who specifically mentioned Bermuda, the Bahamas and a few other islands in the Caribbean when talking about destination weddings? Someone here specifically mentioned them and I thought it was you. Pardon me if I am mistaken but I don't have time to search through 2000 posts to find it.

So a group of you stayed in one hotel room? You only stayed one night? Again, I suppose it is different for everyone, but most destination weddings that I've been invited to or heard about involve places that would be expensive to get to and stay. For some, where I live could be considered a "destination" for a wedding - the touristy town of Annapolis. You'd be lucky to find a hotel room here for $100/night.

The destination wedding I was invited to in St John was pay your own way for everything except the wedding reception. The two couples I know who attended paid a substantial amount of money to go. While we could have "afforded" it, it would have meant taking money out of our vacation funds for our family which wasn't something we were willing to do. Plus, I was nursing a newborn at the time who wasn't invited....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:53pm

sorry but no. we wanted to shout it out earlier than that, LOL! In fact, we sent them the save-the-date cards shortly after we made our date final.

it really was THAT simple.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:54pm
Oh yes, I realize that. But I imagine that many weddings that occur on L.I. have guest who are not from L.I.! Just b/c she didn't *see* the gifts doesn't mean the couple only received cash. I actually knew ahead of time that cash is typical when going to NY weddings, however, that's not my style. I prefer to give something heartfelt and meaningful of my own choosing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:56pm

"Am I mistaking you for another poster who specifically mentioned Bermuda, the Bahamas and a few other islands in the Caribbean when talking about destination weddings? Someone here specifically mentioned them and I thought it was you. Pardon me if I am mistaken but I don't have time to search through 2000 posts to find it."

Yes, you're mistaken. That wasn't my post.

"So a group of you stayed in one hotel room? You only stayed one night?"

No, we each had our own hotel room. Dh and I stayed for 2 nights/3 days, as I stated in the OP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:58pm

Of course....but then again, I'm not the one stating "I think that's the problem. When people aren't so excited about their own weddings, they kind of feel a sense of entitlement on other people's weddings of how they should feel. Most of the people I know are ecstatic to get married and their wedding days have been described as one of the best and memorable days of their lives. "


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:59pm

are you throwing parties for those events???? LOL. I imagine if I did send out a card saying how well my son did in school this year everyone receiving it would be happy to know that..... and no one would give it a second thought.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:01pm

<>


I haven't seen anything to support that statement.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:02pm

No.

PumpkinAngel

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