Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


Picture003.jpgIMG_3599-1.jpg






Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

 &nb

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:16pm
I don't know what tracking has to do with standing on line with people who are waiting to give the couple their envelope? I tracked my wedding. Other weddings, I am just stating what I have seen (mostly by giving my envelope the same time as everyone else or seeing people pu t it in the mailbox they have out for the envelopes)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:17pm
I missed the winkie icon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:20pm
ita........bar harbor,acacia (sp) national park,blue hill. there's got to be a million other reasons why maine would be the place for a fabulous wedding,too. it's absolutely gorgeous there.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:22pm
Well, yes. Which is what makes them useful for guests. Wouldn't it be a bummer to discover that the date you picked for something was exactly the same as the date that this couple is getting married. That's a heads up I like. I don't WANT to accidentally schedule something for the same date I would be invited to a wedding- not if I can help it. And if you get annoyed by the very thought of saving the date so far in advance just in case you wanted to plan something then (rather than grateful you will be causing no scheduling conflict because of this heads up), then you migt as well decline the invitation itself. If you don't want to save the date abd only want to go to the wedding on the off chance that nothing better comes up and you can't think of anything you'd rather schedule, then don't go at all.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:24pm

Acadia :-)

Blue Hill...jeeeezzum that's goin' some as we say downeast. I did summer theater for two years as a performer for a tiny theater in Castine. When we got to go into Blue Hill (or dare I say Bucksport/Searsport or even the thriving metropolis of Ellsworth) it was a real treat!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:25pm
i admit, the little princesses lost me way back when they started printing up monogrammed matchbooks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:32pm
why do you need evidence to support turning off the a/c system in traffic? you should see bumper to bumper traffic in houston at rush hour - the idle time in your car is huge.....i've always considered that sort of stuff old fashioned,timeless advice much like the advice of keeping a gas tank at least half full at all times is,too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:36pm
That sort of driving would drain anyone of energy. But more sitting is not the answer. Counter-intuitive as it feels, when you feel tired because of sitting in a hot car, the best thing is to move your legs and get some blood flowing in them again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:37pm

As I've said in my other posts, I've never been invited to a wedding where I didn't know the date well in advance of when the invitations go out. I guess it's b/c we only get invited to weddings where we know the couple well enough to actually have discussed their wedding plans with them and knew the date they chose. OR, in the case of relatives, my mother or MIL actually tells us.

I also don't have such a full social calendar that I need to know about something that far in advance. 6-8 weeks in advance, which is typically when we receive most wedding invitations, is ample enough time for us to plan it for our calendar. In the off chance that I've scheduled something else (which I can't really remember happening), chances are it's something that I can change. Most of the things we do socially don't involve much preplanning, certainly not more than eight weeks or are things that we can't change. Maybe that's b/c most of the stuff we do involves our kids or are impromptu or casual get togethers with friends or other families.

Again, it has never been an issue for any wedding we've been invited to mainly b/c we already know well in advance, simply by talking with the couple, when the wedding is going to be held. I guess some people, however, don't maintain that kind of communication with their friends and invite people that they rarely talk to. 11 years ago when we got married, we didn't use "Save the Date" cards, and somehow we ended up having more people than we expected to come, actually RSVP that they would be there. Imagine that....2/3 of those who came were from OOT and most of them had to fly to get here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:39pm

<>


Can you clarify this?

PumpkinAngel

Pages