Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:43pm

Ever heard of Prospect Harbor?

Dh and I stayed at this lighthouse when he was still in the Navy. I wish we still had his military privileges b/c I would LOVE to take my kids to this little piece of heaven!

http://lighthouse.cc/prospectharbor/

It's farther east than Ellsworth. And when we went, it was right after Christmas so everything was closed for winter. It was a nice little romantic getaway!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:48pm

<<I don't know what tracking has to do with standing on line with people who are waiting to give the couple their envelope? >>


Again, if you are going to claim that you know what everyone gives (or doesn't) at all the weddings you have attended in the last 20 years, how else are you going to do so unless you are tracking the gifts versus guests?


<<I tracked my wedding.>>


Still not talking about your wedding, still talking about being a guest at a wedding.


<<Other weddings, I am just stating what I have seen (mostly by giving my envelope the same time as everyone else or seeing people pu t it in the mailbox they have out for the envelopes) >>


Again, unless you are

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:54pm
I NEVER said I know what other people get. My entire point is that everyone gives envelopes, there are no gifts given at the weddings I have attended.
I guess if you go to a wedding where you have to stand in line to give someone or a mailbox an envelope and do NOT notice that all the people around you are doing the same thing, you are REALLY not paying attention. No one is counting how many envelopes are given to the couple or how many are put in the mailbox, even though you can tell if you wait awhile and you have to stuff yours in-lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:54pm

<<why do you need evidence to support turning off the a/c system in traffic?>>


Because I have never heard that theory with today's cars.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:55pm

<<But more sitting is not the answer. Counter-intuitive as it feels, when you feel tired because of sitting in a hot car, the best thing is to move your legs and get some blood flowing in them again. >>


My thought as well.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:59pm

<<I NEVER said I know what other people get.>>


You have stated that you know what other people give, see my previous post that clearly documents this fact in your own words.


<<My entire point is that everyone gives envelopes, there are no gifts given at the weddings I have attended.>>


See, you are claiming to know what everyone gives and doesn't give,

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:02pm
I think the whole thing about this is that you have never been to a wedding that only gives envelopes. You are not understanding that no one is "tracking" what they are getting as this is a usual thing to see people giving envelopes the entire reception or the end of the night. No one knows how much is in their envelope and I could care less.
I think people could "track" more if their is a gift table and they can see how many gifts are sitting there.I wouldn't know as we only have gift tables at showers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:05pm

<<I think the whole thing about this is that you have never been to a wedding that only gives envelopes.>>


I have no idea, I am not paying attention to what the other guests are giving to the bride/groom.


<<You are not understanding that no one is "tracking" what they are getting as this is a usual thing to see people giving envelopes the entire reception or the end of the night. >>


I understand perfectly, you are tracking what the guests are giving.


<>


I don't see that in your posts, not at all.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:12pm
You just can't admit that you have never been to the type of wedding I am speaking about where only envelopes are given. You don't have to pay attention to know that the person next to you is handing the couple an envelope. It is no secret and since everyone at the wedding is used to this, it is no big deal. I had a handmade bag to put all my envelopes in like how they use the mailboxes now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:22pm

<<You just can't admit that you have never been to the type of wedding I am speaking about where only envelopes are given. >>


Again, I have no idea if I have or not, it's not a matter of admitting anything except that I don't track what every guest is doing and/or giving to the bride and groom.

PumpkinAngel

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