Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:02pm
As I said, I'm all for advance notice; I just think it's tacky not to do it orally. The Save the Date cards are much too commercialized for my taste.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:03pm
Yep!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:05pm
Yes, and if you really aren't close enough to the couple to have heard way ahead of time about the wedding, then why would you feel it's so important to be notified by mail way ahead of time so you can be sure to Save the Date? To me, that's the contradicition inherent in all this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:07pm
Just look on the bright side; I did say it wasn't entirely your fault!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:07pm
All of them can blame it on the out-of-control wedding industry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:09pm
Happens all the time in some parts of the world, and they don't consider it rape; of course it doesn't have to actually involve rape for me to frown on a cultural practice such as that, or even to call it tacky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:11pm
Actually, I might very well throw a party to celebrate my child's or my dh's achievement. I just wouldn't send out a lot of cards about it or shout it from the rooftops. In fact, hardly anyone I know ever does...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:12pm
Or maybe flung from the bleachers...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:14pm
Didn't George and Martha Washington have monogrammed matchbooks?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:39pm
We spent our honeymoon in Searsport.

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