Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:41pm
Not to get plane tickets that don't cost an arm and leg. We have seen a distinct decrease in our ability to get cheap airfares with in 3 months of going somewhere. PLanes are fuller these days. And if you want to use frequent flier- 6 months or more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:51pm
8 weeks isn't a lot of time if you have a tight budget . . . especially if you are buying plane tickets.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 6:00pm
It about what works best for the family as a whole, not just about the kids. Kids are not more important than the other members of the family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 6:00pm
I agree. We were just invited to a wedding in 3 weeks. We will have to give less as we won't have as much time to save as a wedding that I might know about 6 or more weeks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 6:03pm

i'm sorry that you don't know people that get so excited over big events in their lives that they want to share it with you.

I'm sorry that you can't see that, from my point of view, ALL we were doing is letting people have a heads-up about our special day.

i'm truly beginning to think that it just boils down to the difference between pessimists and optimists. I am firmly in the latter camp and have NEVER even thought that someone was sending a "save the date card" in order to make my guests feel bad. I can't even fathom that kind of thinking.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 6:07pm
ITA with you. I never saw them as a bad thing. I think I have only gotten 2 but I have seen them at my sister's house as she always has something going on-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:01pm

Sounds to me like you have the beginnings of one of those bragging Christmas newsletters, lol... my least favorite things in the world.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:06pm

"They are the biggest drinkers so basically they had a "free" evening out of eating and drinking."

Comments like this are leading me to believe that you would have been much better off to just sell tickets to your wedding.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:10pm

I agree. If the most important thing to the bride and groom is standing on a beach while they exchange their vows that is what they should do. I, personally, felt it was more important to be surrounded by the people who meant the most to me. To each his own.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:14pm

And it is not just weddings. I received a flyer in the mail for a party planner in my area who will handle your dd sweet 16 party... for as little as $5000! I can only imagine the budget that will be expected for these little princess' weddings.

Robin

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