Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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Yikes, I must have missed that announcement. CONGRATULATIONS! I had no idea. I'm glad to hear that things are obviously going well for you!
What do you mean get everyone together on short notice? None of my family and only two members of DH's family were able to attend.
I didn't know my DH two years before our wedding.
Thanks. . .and now I have more children than you :)
Between the two of us, dh and I have six children between the ages of 16 and almost 5!
I'm also sure that my parents have planned ahead well for their retirement, but that doesn't mean I would EVER put my elderly parent in a nursing home, thats not for me. I guess that in the world that I live in, you take care of your aging parents when they need you to. Thats just the way things are in my family and in my community, my parents took care of my dads mother when the need arose, and will surely take care of my mom's mother if the need arises also. As I will do with my parents when the time comes to do so, (dh parents have both passed, but caring for them would be an issue with us too).
My parents didn't have the money to put me through college either, I don't resent them, I don't blame them. I did three years of college on grants and working and didn't mind a bit. I didn't expect anything from them. Yes, I did live at home two of those three years, but I paid the bills I accumulated and helped with the groceries.
no, my father was not an involved parent, I will give you that, but he was out working and making sure we had what we needed, that was what he believed his job was in raising us. I don't resent him, I applaud him for making it so that my mom could stay home with us. We may not have always had what we wanted, but we had what we needed.
Wow, I guess I missed a lot! Do you still post on that other board? I lost the link a long time ago, so have wondered what have happened to many of the regulars who moved over to that board (like Kristi?).
Do you have your PhD now?
Many people accomplish this with dual working parents. Our family felt it was best to have me SAH b/c of my dh's travel schedule for his job. It was too hard logistically for me to handle daycare drop off/pick up with my required office hours. While I possibly could have changed jobs (or daycare that had longer hours) so that I wouldn't have that problem, we felt it was best for me to SAH instead. However, I know plenty of families with dual WOHPs who manage to have happy, healthy FAMILIES just as mine is with a SAHP.
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