Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:38am
THen sah works for *your* family. Great. But what worls for you might be a version of hell for another family. Or more likely, what works for you isn't as good a fit for another family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:40am
Be sure to send "save the date" cards (since June can be such a busy month)so everyone who's just dying to attend can pencil it in; you'll really clean up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:51am
OT, but the "Jeezum" just reminded me--I went to law school in Boston and one of my friends was a NH gal who often said "jeezum crow."

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 8:01am

I would never go to any party that I was invited to without a gift. That is rude and with all this etiquette talk with thank you notes, I am surprised that people would do that.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 8:44am

I do still post there. ..post on ivillage boards only very rarely (here and the BioMoms/StepMoms debate board).. .

I am in the process of finishing my PhD. The divorce took a toll on me emotionally and financially. I ended up working full time for a year (putting my research on hold for the most part), but have left that job and am focusing on my research for the summer. I hope to go back to work part-time or full time in the fall when data collection should be done.

If all goes according to plan, I'll graduate in December.

Thanks for asking. Hope you and yours are well.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 8:58am

"but that doesn't mean I would EVER put my elderly parent in a nursing home, thats not for me"

don't be so quick to judge -- nursing homes and assited living provide the kind of round the clock care for our aging parents with critical medical needs includin my mother who has nearly died twic in the past 3 years from complications of her stage 4 breast cancer. Providig for your parents often means finding the best place for them to be in order to receive the kind of care needed. Her assisted living facility caught the early complications of her latest round of chemo before things got too serious (my mother is one of those women who never complains about anything and will let things 'go' too long). Its not an easy choice, it's an agonizing one and an expensive one to boot but sometimes that is the best thing for them. Until you've walked that path don't pass judgement on those who have made that choice.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:10am
Correct. I wrote that post. And.....??
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:13am

"I haven't seen anything to support that statement."

If you need support for common sense, there's not a thing I can do about that.

<>

"Ah, seems...again, something else I didn't actually state."

No? You weren't the one who keeps asking for clarification and details? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:13am
funny!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:14am
It's common sense.

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