Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:50am

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And that's fine for you if you wish to believe that, however being a guest does not require one to bring a gift, let alone a gift that the host decides is acceptable.


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Personally, I wouldn't care what or if anyone gave me anything.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:50am
Instead of just going back and forth, I will just take it that you have never been to a wedding like we have where there is no gifts and everyone will stand in line at the end of th evening to give their envelopes.
This is really just going nowhere because you think people are "tracking" gifts which makes no sense to me why someone would care how much someone else gave.
It would be more obvious to me if there was a gift table who do NOT bring a gift. Not that I would care because I bring my gift and I am there to have a good time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:50am

No.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:50am
Not every out of town wedding you might be invited to is a "destination wedding." We held our wedding out of town, but it was so that my husband's mother and her friends, all in their 80s and some no longer able to fly, could attend. We paid the airfare and the resort bill for two nights for anyone who came. Some people opted to stay longer than the two nights but that was their choice and their expense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:51am

In the posts.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:52am
If you see it, then, I guess.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:52am
As far as I am concerned, a couple's wedding is THEIR wedding. It isn't about what you or any other guest would "prefer to be invited to," it's what and where and how to make this once-in-a-lifetime event (hopefully, anyway) special to those people who are getting married.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:52am

May I please have a link?


This appears to only be a wedding, please provide a link that supports your statement of parties.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:53am
Will you then bring a gift to every party you are invited to if you see a bonafide link? Lmao.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:54am
Nobody is under any obligation to include anyone else in their wedding plans, or to make it hard or easy to attend the wedding. Trying to please everyone else is a sure guarantee that nobody will end up pleased.

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