Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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you don't know me....you don't know my life. maybe i've ordered something that will come later...maybe I like to send my gifts instead of lug them to the wedding...and you CERTAINLY don't know if saving $5 a week is possible for me. sometimes I go 2 weeks from paycheck to paycheck with $5 in my pocket....
but the point I'm making is that the people I love put a higher value on human relationships than can possibly be measured in the cost, size or presence of a material gift. I remember my sisters ex inlaws were still talking about 2 guests who hadn't given gifts -- three YEARS after her wedding. Three YEARS to fixate on a missed opportunity to snag another gravy boat seems liek a wrong value set to me.
Yes. We. Did.
How does this reference the post you are responding to?
PumpkinAngel
No, you claimed that I didn't get it.
PumpkinAngel
How am I supposed to prove, that I believe you should bring gifts to any event you are invited to? Should I send you a cancelled check? Show you a picture of the brownies I made?
The whole point I have made is that I think it is very rude to expect to go to a party or someone's home and not bring a gift. You are giving respect to the person who has taken their time out to spend money on food, drinks, decorations, favors, etc. for you. It should nt be a free meal for you.
I personally think the majority of people who bring no or small gifts CAN do it but they are just too cheap. Maybe that is why they are able to save so much more money than the rest of us who give a gift-??!!
"You are giving respect to the person who has taken their time out to spend money on food, drinks, decorations, favors, etc. for you. It should nt be a free meal for you."
IT'S A PARTY!!!!! That's what Parties ARE! The are given by the hosts to entertain the guests. It's not a "tally up the take" situation...it's a "come celebrate with me - my dear friends and family and let me treat you to a wonderufl event to thank you for loving me enough to share my wedding/birthday/retirement/first communion/ bar mitzvah"
Yes. We. Did.
They were still talking because it is RUDE not to give a gift. You don't expect to come to a party and free load off of someone. That is just wrong.
I can NOT believe that someone who knows they are invited to a wedding in months or even a year, can NOT save $5/week. Everyone is very concerned with saving for an emergency fund that they are able to have that money per week to put away but not $5?? Maybe because these people are only thinking about themselves and NOT the couple.
"You don't expect to come to a party and free load off of someone"
I would say you don't EXPECT your GUESTS to cover the cost of a PARTY you are throwing for THEM!
jeezum crow ... do you not value your friends and family more than material gain? Really???
Yes. We. Did.
When you are going to an event like a shower, wedding, communion, you bring a gift.
I personally don't think it is right to pay that night with your wedding money but when I give a gift, I have NO clue what they are going to do with it.
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