Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:47am
Ditto here. Where I grew up it would be considered very rude for a dinner guest to show up with food.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:48am
But you did bring something because you were invited for dinner. Even if it is not dessert, there is the common respect that you were invited into someone's home and they took the time to have you over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:01pm

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Exactly what I do.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:08pm

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You stated something about etiquette and that it was rude not to bring gifts to every event you are invited to, I would think that if you are referring to etiquette, then you would have some kind of etiquette rule, since

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:11pm

Yes!


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:12pm
I live on Planet Earth and was speaking of traditions found anywhere and everywhere. Which makes perfect sense, when you consider that many of these traditions found in the U.S. originated elsewhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:13pm
How about objects that just don't make much sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:15pm
I have no problem with advance notice, especially for distant guests. I just don't happen to care for "Save the Date" cards; I'd prefer a phone call or personal note, even an e-mail.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:19pm

If you're at a distance, as you pointed out, prior notice well in advance can be a lifesaver. However, any sort of advance notification can put you in a bind; the problem with the Save the Date thing is the assumption that any and all guests would welcome the possibility of being put in a bind, even if they don't happen to live far away.

Why would you need to tell anyone if you're coming any sooner than 2 or 3 weeks ahead? That, to me, isn't really part of the problem (or at least what I see as a problem, lol). To an oral heads up, you can just say thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:23pm
Oh well. There are a lot of wedding traditions I find tacky or offensive myself. I cringe when I attend a wedding where the pastor/priest asks "Who gives this woman in marriage" for instance. I still don't like black at weddings, but more and more, bridesmaids in formal weddings are wearing black. I don't like to see too much skin on brides at formal weddings -- the way I was raised, you covered your shoulders in church. But I don't really expect that couples will decide to have weddings based on my cultural preferences.

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